vegansaurus!

Peta wants to rename the Tenderloin, I say go for it  »

SFist published this letter that Peta sent to the mayor of the fair San Francisco:

March 29, 2011

The Honorable Edwin M. Lee
Mayor of San Francisco

Via e-mail

Dear Mayor Lee,

I am writing on behalf of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and our more than 2 million members and supporters, including thousands in the Bay Area, with an idea that could help revitalize the struggling Tenderloin district: rename it the “Tempeh District.” By discarding an outdated moniker that evokes the horrors of the meat trade, you’ll be sending a strong message to progressive businesses and health-conscious residents that this neighborhood is ready for a fresh start.

Tempeh, a protein-packed food made from soybeans, is a healthy, cruelty-free meat substitute. In contrast, tenderloin comes from real suffering. In today’s intensive meat production industry, piglets have their tails and testicles cut off without being given any painkillers and breeding sows are confined for life to metal crates so small they can’t even turn around or take two steps. Cattle are burned with hot irons, their horns are cut or burned off, and males are castrated—all without painkillers.

It’s true that the Tenderloin echoes vice and corruption and that slaughterhouses are constantly found to be in violation of the law and more. But now’s the perfect time to put the city’s past in the deep freeze. San Francisco is now renowned for some of the best vegan cuisine in the world, and the city deserves a neighborhood named after a delicious cruelty-free food instead of the flesh of an abused animal. If Tempeh doesn’t excite you, how about Granola Flats or Seitan’s Lair? You could even run a contest to choose a veggie moniker.

Sincerely yours,

Tracy Reiman
Executive Vice President

Thoughts? I think it’s HILARIOUS! But I’m the resident Peta antics fan. And I also have a passion for renaming things. Some people in the SFist’s comments have some good neighborhood renaming ideas (though I wouldn’t read all the comments, they are likely to offend) like we could call Hunters Point “Gatherers Point.”

In reality, I wouldn’t rename the Tenderloin the “Tempeh District” but a name change might be just the thing to revitalize the area! People are acting like it’s crazy but neighborhood names come and go and any time you want to gentrify an area, you GOT to change the name, or at least find an old name like Northern Liberties and bring it back. What was the name of the Tenderloin neighborhood like 150 years ago? Though I’m fine with the standard “Gayborhood” as far as gentrifying usually goes.

[Graphic from Ork Posters!]

Fifty horses going to slaughter if they can’t be rehomed!?  »

Brock at SFist alerts us to this SUPER DUPER sad Craigslist ad from the Free section (don’t put animals in the free section, assholes!) (oh, wait, it’s been flagged, that’s probably why!). Anyway, here’s what the ad looked like:
I’ve put a call into the number listed (440/ 463-4288) and uh, let’s see what we can do. This is ridiculous and so freaking sad. UGH. If you can think of any way to help, please do!!

UPDATE: The person’s voicemail is full and they’re not picking up but I also heard from a reliable source that all the horses were successfully re-homed?? I’ll post if I learn more and please let us know if you hear anything!

Dead bear found discarded outside strip mall, or What the fucking hell is your problem, Humans?  »

SFist reported that a dead bear was found abandoned outside a strip mall taqueria in San Leandro late Sunday evening. Apparently, the 300-pound bear had been shot somewhere else and then transported to the strip mall, where it was left. It is black bear hunting season right now (which in and of itself deserves a resounding What the Fuck), but authorities don’t seem to think a licensed hunter, the most responsible and reputable of humans, would simply dump a black bear carcass on a taqueria’s doorstep.

Now, I was raised to live in stupefying fear of bears, not shoot and discard them. Bears will fuck you up good and proper, and after reading this story, I honestly wonder why they don’t do it more often. I’m no fan of hunting—I think it’s a bullshit excuse to act like a macho asshole, and most of the time, the arguments that say we “need” hunters to keep populations in check seems about as legit as the Williamsburg caveman diet—but simply throwing away a dead animal is such a fucking disrespectful piece-of-shit thing to do, I just can’t even articulate how sad and fucked up it is.

Sorry, bears.

To avoid bumming everyone out completely and totally, please check out the American Bear Association and their bear sanctuary in Minnesota; maybe shoot ‘em a couple bucks, become a member, or even sponsor a bear. Also, check out this heartwarming tale of two blind bears who were rescued and taken to a sanctuary in Romania. 

[Image courtesy American Bear Association]

Tasty vegan recipes from non-vegan blogs! Holla!  »

Apparently “The American People” (shittiest expression ever) aren’t eating produce anymore. WELL WHY??? Vegansaurus to the rescue! The recipes below leave you no excuse for not getting your 5-Alive. Do it up, fatties!

Bay Area Bites wants us to make apple butter (DO IT!), and The Paupered Chef has some Mexican food snacks that aren’t deep-fried (don’t hold it against them!). You could easily veganize this Avocado Milkshake over at The Kitchn by subbing coconut creamer (yum!) for condensed milk. Have you ever had an avocado milkshake? It’s like a party in your mouth meets a party in your pants and everyone wants to do it with each other. GNARLY MAGIC. Seriously, make one! Or, if you’re too lazy, buy one! And if you’re into doing it in the raw (NO COMMENT), check out Blisstree’s Sun-Dried Tomato and Sunflower Seed Burgers. I’m only 1/4 hippie, and those look damn good to me!

Finally, because you’re all a bunch of fucking lushes, you should probably check out The Acadian from Beretta. SFist has the recipe and it’s so easy to just replace the honey with agave and have a par-tay. Haven’t tried absinthe? Well, you’re in for a hallucinogenic treat! Also, get some vegan pizza while you’re there—it’s the shiz!

Also, if you’re eating downtown in the FiDi, our Megan Allison says that the Siam salad (sub avocado for cucumber DO IT UP, FATTY) at Mixt Greens is the only food that does anything for her anymore. She ain’t mad atchu, lemongrass vinaigrette. Also funny that at salad place Mixt Greens, that’s the only salad that’s vegan by default. AMERICA!

[photo by Nick Kindlesperger of The Paupered Chef!]

SFist is extremely tolerant!  »

We’re used to Gothamist being an ass about anything veg-related, so we’re glad to see that SFist has taken a break from posting about ALL THE CRIME THAT HAPPENS IN OUR CRIME-RIDDEN CITY to spew some more veggie hate. Man, it’s like someone over there was violated by a celery stick. 

SFist is the most highly trafficked San Francisco blog, so shouldn’t it reflect the spirit of the city more? If, as they say, having Meatless Monday is like having Buttfuck Tuesday, then maybe SFist should cover veg issues with the same fervor and positivity that they cover gay issues. Or at least pretend to cover them with a modicum of positivity, like, ever.

Or why not cancel Pride Week? Because who in San Francisco doesn’t already know that gay people exist, or that we’re so surrounded by daily reminders of man-on-man handholding and baby adoptions that isn’t a big parade just, oh, a bit tacky and “superfluous”? Or maybe it’s not just about us and our own civic navel-gazing. Maybe these symbolic resolutions and street parties are our way of showing the rest of the country who lives here and what we’re about, and if we’re so “inundated” with vegans and farmers markets, then why are you demanding that we shut up about it like some kind of family shame? Because if SFist were to step outside their bubble of above-it-all for just a second, there’s a whole world out there where people are still hating on each other for what they put in their mouths, whether it’s cock or tofu, and isn’t San Francisco where we live to get away from all that bullshit? And no, a grilled vegetable plate is not an acceptable option.

Or maybe our flagship San Francisco blog should move its beat somewhere it would have some actual relevance. Are SFist trying to align themselves with Republican senators from Michigan who tore apart their governor for daring to declare Michiganders abstain from meat for ONE DAY A YEAR. Seriously, is this the kind of backwards shit we want?? Or linking to the CATTLE NETWORK? A big pro-ag “news” source when plenty of local sources covered it, including us? Or sneering at outdoor ad bans (which our voters approved TWICE)? At least we know there’s hope for Fountainhead Fridays—SFist is already circulating the petition.

Vegans are painted as either wealthy elitist jerks, or perpetually broke, style-phobic hippies who will never know the good things in life, depending which wrong we’ve committed this time. It just sucks when a blog that’s supposed to cover San Francisco—home of wealthy elitist jerks, perpetually broke hippies, and plenty of other economic groups—demonizes part of its population like it is trying to hurt the city, or something. Which is so moronic and small-minded, you’d think SFist were forming its own little anti-veg Tea Party. The SFist Meat Party for the Eradication of Vegans and Their Evil Agenda. What’s next, a Photoshopped Ellen DeGeneres with a Hitler ‘stache?

Of course there’s backlash to this resolution: if jerks are against it, that means we’re doing something right, yes? Yes. And nothing is worth fighting for if it doesn’t piss someone off. Further, this resolution isn’t going anywhere; it passed with 100 percent support, so Meatless Mondays will continue after you babies are done wailing and gnashing your teeth (canines and molars alike). SFist may hate resolutions because they have no actual political power, like every time the Board called for an end to the Iraq War, but they are important: what starts as language can grow into action. San Francisco is the first city to start Meatless Mondays, but we’re sure it won’t be the last. Someplace has to be the instigator; why not here, the birthplace of haute veg cuisine?

Fucking relax, already. Flipping your shit over a resolution that encourages restaurants to offer more vegetarian options ONE DAY A WEEK? Damn. The resolution doesn’t even urge San Franciscans to give up meat on Monday; it just urges business to offer more plant-based options (Hey! SFist, perhaps you’d like to read the damn thing!). Even if it did encourage people not to eat meat on Mondays—WHOA NELLY ONE DAY A WEEK SOMEONE DOESN’T WANT US TO EAT MEAT OMG I’M AMERICAN WHERE ARE MY RIGHTS AND MY GUNS We understand that change is hard; even entirely voluntary, symbolic change that in the short-term may not affect you one tiny bit. Real talk. I’m proud to live in San Francisco; it’s one of the most exciting, progressive, diverse, dynamic cities on Earth. Wouldn’t it be amazing if SFist celebrated that, instead of posting veggie-hate and constant crime stats. Oh and links to posts about graffiti. Just a suggestion—I’m full of ‘em! I’ll be here spit-balling ideas all night! 

This post is brought to you by Meave, Steve, Jonas, and Laura. We had things to say, OK??