It’s here!!!! I know, I know, it’s BEEN here but I just bought some and maybe you forgot but it’s the reason for the season! So basically, replace your water consumption with it until the end of December! L’chaim!
Also, I’ve written about Silk Nog’s arrival every year we’ve done Vegansaurus. This is as close to tradition as we have! Also again, some recipes for delicious foods made with delicious Silk Nog! Silknogspiration, y’all.
Silk Nog and Pumpkin Spice HAVE ARRIVED. They’re on sale at Whole Foods, too! $2.39 for a taste of holiday deliciousness. I just heated up a mug of it and topped it off with some vegan pumpkin spice marshmallows. God, I’m such a glutton. May November and December never end! Yes! I’m calling for an end to the 12-month calendar! REVOLUTIONARY THINKING AND NOTHING LESS IS WHAT YOU’VE COME TO EXPECT FROM YOUR VEGANSAURUS!
Silk Nog and Pumpkin Spice are at Rainbow Grocery! ‘Tis the season, bitches!!!
Recipe: Silk Nog tapioca pudding! THIS IS THE SHIT! And hella cheap too! »
I gave you a slow cooker dessert last week and now I’m taking things to the fast lane! Um and then I’ll have a restaurant review for SF because that’s what this site is supposed to be the fuck about.
Anyway, I hope you all spent your Thanksgiving holiday the fuck away from the computer (unless it was to watch legally downloaded episodes of Weeds and Dexter! I love not leaving bed until 3 p.m.!)
So this is super-easy, super-fast and super-delicious. Super. All you do is make minute tapioca—I use Kraft brand, it’s available everywhere; there might be better organic shit available from a non-evil company but I don’ t know—according to the directions on the packet, except you substitute Silk Nog beverage for the milk and just leave out the egg or use egg replacer or some canned pumpkin even. I bet that would be good. Also, throw in 2 tsp. of pumpkin pie spice or garam masala. You can also just wing it and throw in cinnamon, nutmeg, etc. Whatever you do, this shit will be delicious. Cook according to package directions and voilà, bitches! Delicious Silk Nog tapioca pudding! It takes about 10 minutes to cook—five minutes to let everything sit in the pot together and then five minutes of stirring it until it boils—and then 20 minutes to let it cool. It thickens as it cools so don’t freak out about it not being thick. Go make some now and freak out at the deliciousness. Also, if you think tapioca is funky, you are weird and wrong. You are the funky one. Tapioca is wonderful.
(I’m not as good at Images as Jonas but you get the idea! I think! The idea is that the combination of those ingredients equals ONE HAPPY CHEF!)
Recipe: Slow cooker pumpkin bread pudding! »
So my mom gave me a Crockpot like five years ago and it sat in storage because I’M NOT 40 AND LIVING IN DES MOINES. I had no need for a slow cooker when my life was on speed boil! There was no time to slow down in the fast lane that was MY LIFE! No man, woman, beast or slow cooker could stop the train wreck that was my life.
But that was then and this is now. I’m now 30 which is the new 40 and baby, I’m TIRED. All I want to do is sit around and watch reruns of Mama’s Family and eat bonbons. Oh and SLOW COOK! I love it! I’m ADDICTED! I got The Simple Little Vegan Slow Cooker Book and it’s changing my life. Before getting the slow cooker, my autobiography title frontrunners were One Foot in the Grave, the Laura B Story; It Is a Gift, That Is Why They Call It the Present: The Laura B Story; and Deadly Beauty, the Laura B Story. Now those have all been tossed aside in favor of Laura B: Always Be Slow Cooking. Seriously, I’ve made two meals a day since I’ve busted it out again. Do you know how hard that is to do in a SLOW cooker?? Anyway, I’ve perfected everything from appe-teasers to soups to salads to antipasti to main course to, now, DESSERT. I’ve come up with the perfect vegan Thanksgiving dessert for you ungrateful SOBs! So, read below and please remember me this Thanksgiving, Laura Beck. A girl who lives each day like it’s her rocking last. In the slow lane.
VEGAN PUMPKIN BREAD PUDDING, Crockpot-style!
3½ cups Silk Nog, Pumpkin Spice Silk or soy, almond, rice milk! Mix them up, go crazy!
¼ cup bourbon (ow!)
1 16oz. can of pumpkin
1 cup brown sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. cinnamon
¼ tsp. nutmeg
¼ tsp. cloves (PLEASE NOTE: If you don’t have all these fancy spices, just buy a cheapy thing of pumpkin pie spice and sub it for all of them! Delicious!)
½ tsp. salt
1 Tbsp. Earth Balance
1 loaf bread (about 8 cups)
½ cup raisins (optional, of course. you might think raisins are nasty. you would be right in most cases but I like them in bread pudding!)
½ cup chocolate chips (optional if you don’t like delicious!)
So basically all you do is cut up the bread into cubes. You grease your Crockpot with the Earth Balance and then put 4 cups of bread at the bottom. Next, put the Silk Nog (or whatever) into a saucepan and bring to a soft boil and then immediately remove from the stove to cool a little. In a mixing bowl, mix the pumpkin, bourbon (ow! what! I’m 12!), sugar, vanilla, spices, and salt. Then take the slightly cooled Silk Nog (or whatever) and stir it into the boozy pumpkin mixture. Next, pour some of the mixture over the 4 cups of bread in the slow cooker. Push the bread down so that it’s covered. Next, put in the rest of the bread and pour the remaining mixture over the top. Make sure everything is covered and put the covered slow cooker on low for 2½ to 3 hours. If you want extra deliciousness you can stir in chocolate chips halfway through cooking! Basically, you know it’s done when it’s firm and bouncy like a good bread pudding. Serve with vegan whipped cream or soy cream. OR COOKIE DOUGH COCONUT ICE CREAM FROM TURTLE ISLAND (as pictured! It’s amazing! Also, please excuse my picture for looking like a pile of doggie crapola! Mea culpa!)
That’s all! Not hurry and get to slow cooking! And Happy Thanksgiving from our dysfunctional family to yours on this horrible, shameful holiday! There is nothing like two wars, an economic crisis and millions of turkeys being slaughtered to remind you to be proud of our great American heritage on this day of days! And don’t forget to stuff yourself silly and rape the earth a little because that’s what this holiday’s really about anyway, right?
Man, I am a psycho downer. I really do love Thanksgiving. But I have such huge gross white liberal guilt. I’m gonna go wrestle this out with myself in a corner right now. In vegan Jell-O. I have like 20 boxes. Don’t ask. Anyway, bye! Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Road trip: Sweet Avenue Bakeshop! »
We don’t recommend you do this as a road trip unless you have a lot of time and perhaps a Winnebago, so you can travel Road Rules season one-style. For everyone else, New York City has three airports. Pick one! In any case, if you find yourself in north Jersey, as I have for the past two weeks, do check out Sweet Avenue Bakery in Rutherford.
I bought four cupcakes: plain vanilla with vanilla frosting, apple pie (apple cake with cream cheese frosting and apple pie filling), cookies ‘n’ cream, and strawberry fields (vanilla cake with strawberry frosting and strawberry filling). These are big, beautiful, voluptous cupcakes with a lot of frosting, so I recommend sharing or devouring very slowly, perhaps over the course of two days.
I ended up sharing with my highly critical aunt and mother, who were totally shocked when they enjoyed the very cautious bites they took. A note about my family: they are about as un-vegan friendly as you can possibly imagine. You know that scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding when the girl brings her fiancé home and says he’s a vegetarian and her aunt says, “That’s okay, I make lamb!”? That’s us.
They simply couldn’t believe that this could be made with no eggs, butter, or dairy whatsoever. They also couldn’t believe that such delicious baked goods could be made from the hands of an Americano, or white person. They were truly perplexed.
All the cupcakes were amazing but our favorite was the apple pie, fall in pastry form. With a cup of spicy Silk Nog, this was the best midnight snack a girl could ask for. After that, I would say the cookies ‘n’ cream had my heart. The frosting was amazing and who doesn’t like chocolate cake?
Sweet Avenue changes their cupcake selection every day, which they list on their stylish website. If you’re in New York City and you want to visit the bakery, you can take NJ Transit from Penn Station straight into downtown Rutherford. The shop is a a few blocks away. If you’re in Jersey, surely you’re not too far from a car, so get your ass there!
[photos via Sweet Avenue]
Vegan election party treats »
Happy Election Day, ya’ll!!! It should come as no surprise that all the Vegansaurs are very Pro-Bama, as well as very firmly Yes on 2.
Many of you will be throwing election parties tonight to watch the returns (and hopefully cry like a baby when Obama wins) and I thought I’d give you a little help with your menu.
1. Serve Silk Nog
Silk Nog has made its triumphant return to grocery stores for the holiday season and there is no time to start drinking it like tonight; a well lubricated throat more effectively yells at the television.
2. Blue Food
Jezebel recommended eating blue food in honor of a Democratic victory, which I think is a really cool idea. Here are some ideas: Vegan LunchBox gives us an incredibly easy blueberry pie recipe. Or you can follow the lead of La Vegan Loca and make these gorgeous Obama-themed blueberry cookies. If you don’t have time for that, there’s the wonderful Terra Blue potato chips (anyone want to buy some blue potatoes and try out Laura’s microwaved potato chips? Let us know if you do!). You could also try your hand at veganizing blue mashed potatoes or if you really want to take this theme to the next level, buy some faux bleu cheese, or Bleu Sheese. What the Hell Does a Vegan Eat Anyway has a wonderful-looking recipe for an arugula and Bleu Sheese pizza.
3. Get all patriotic
Today is a pretty awesome day to be an American. If you are really, really proud of your country (or want to get ready to be proud of your country when Obama takes it back), have some patriotic treats ready. You can make red, white, and blue cupcakes, or you can make all of the patriotic food listed in this Associated Content article, “How to Make Patriotic Salads and Veggie Finger Foods.” Highlights include: Festive Fourth of July Slaw!—we recommend Wildwood Garlic Aioli or Vegenaise as mayo substitutions—and Stars and Stripes Vinagrette! Patriotism demands exclamation points!!
You could also, you know, celebrate like Real (vegan) America: get a 24-pack of your favorite nonpartisan beer (that means nothing from the Anheuser-Busch company, my friends), a package of Tofurky sausages, a bag of tater tots, and a package of Newman-O’s, and gorge yourselves on junk food and malt liquor.
Here’s to the future!
[Silk Nog photo by vigilant20]