Everyone’s favorite sloth videographer, Lucy Cooke, has a new book about the residents of the Avarios Sloth Sanctuary in Costa Rica. Preview some of the delightful images (and get links to buy your own precious copy) at Slothville!
Hello, friends! It’s WTF Wednesday with Mark! »
Please don’t feed the raccoons.
You guys, the cruising life is not for me. I spent the last week on one of Carnival’s horrific floating frat houses, and between the exciting dinners with my family (not a dry eye or unflipped piece of furniture in the place), the delicious cafeteria food, and the loud people (not to mention children; children everywhere!!!) I feel about as relaxed as if I’d only worked an 80-hour week instead of my usual 60.
I am really glad to be back on dry land. Now that the shaking and rolling that is charmingly referred to as “sea legs” is behind me, and Allen is once again talking to me after being forced to spend a week on the high seas together, things are good again. I was even excited to get back to work and see my coworkers! It doesn’t hurt that there’s a potluck on the first day back and I just ate my body weight in delicious potato and cauliflower curry.
Let’s see what’s going on the internet these days. That’s something else I was excited about, getting back to my websites and catching up on everything Lindsay Lohan did this week (nothing).
Sloths are really in right now, did you know that? After Kristen Bell freaked the fuck out over being near one, people are going crazy for these adorable animals! (Quick question: Are sloths dangerous?) Even Animal Planet is getting in on the act, and running either a web series or a real series (I am not in the habit of watching animal shows, only ladies fighting in pretty houses) on sloths and how awesome they are. They’re even getting them at their most intimate and running clips of baby sloths getting potty-trained, which is awesome because baby animals peeing and pooping is adorable and I love it and they smile an make noises and when I do that I just have to spend a night in jail.
[Can’t see the video? Watch it on Vegansaurus.com!]
Raccoons are also adorable but I have a feeling i’m the only one that thinks so. And I bet I would also freak out if raccoons were coming into my neighborhood and eating all my Doritos. Although, I’ve never really liked Doritos. When we first came to the U.S. my mom tried some and declared that they tasted like rat droppings (how she knows this I have no idea. She also claims root beer tastes like bee poison. Life in Russia was hard.). I’ve been off of them ever since. Also, when I was a kid, a raccoon climbed into my aunt’s window and killed her or something (that’s what my aunt tells me, but she is also still alive, so…), and it had little human hands (again, just repeating what I’m told), and I’ve been scared shitless of them since. But they’re cute from afar, right?
Here are some dogs chilling with fans and being all cute. Just the idea of laying on the floor with a fan makes me want to take a nap. Did I mention that everywhere we went in the cruise was super hot? I am surprised I do not get heat stroke. Or maybe I did, and that’s why I’m so excited to be at work. YOU DECIDE!
That’s it for this week! Please send me links for next week and have a Dorito-free Wednesday!
[Photo by Brad Woodard / KHOU 11 News]
Hello, friends! It’s WTF Wednesday! »
You guys, I am going to end this semester with superpowers. This is not because Allen and I have been experimenting with disastrous chemical compounds or doing dry runs of superhero vs. villain (Allen is the reluctant villain, of course) in our spare time. No, it is because I spend one evening a week yelling at people in a darkened basement. This by itself is OK, because basements aren’t that scary and I have full audio/video hookup to play as many Real Housewives videos as I want, but I am also across the hall from the “cancer risk” lab and next door to “possible radiation.” Down the hall is a room full of cut-up dead people that scared the shit out of me when I was forced to visit it in high school (not as a punishment but as a science learning experience).
I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of power I will develop, and I’ve narrowed it down to something that would have to do with being slightly dangerous, overwhelmingly adorable, and able to take naps in any location or position (god, I love to nap). In short, I will likely be able to morph into a sloth at will.
Being a sloth will be awesome because sloths are really in right now. For instance, only recently, amazing celebrity Kristen Bell (omg! I have all of Veronica Mars on DVD! I once cut a whole week of college just to watch two entire seasons of that show!) had a full-on panic attack upon discovering that a sloth was nearby.
Could you imagine how awesome it would be if your superpower was to make other people have anxiety attacks of happiness? No one would be able to rob a bank while I was nearby! Murders would be a thing of the past! “Adore my cuteness!” would be my battle cry!
After fighting evil (Allen), I would happily go and hang out with my sloth friends on a sloth farm and eat bananas and leafy greens. I would just have to make sure the other sloths wouldn’t be as adorable and try to take over my turf. They’ve already beaten Lady and the Tramp. Check out the two adorable sloths that are sharing some sort of bean. Adorable.
Although I would be a sloth I would also be an honorary opossum and chill with my pals Pear and Pearl. I know I’ve featured Pearl before but this was before I knew that she was certified in the art of animal psychoanalysis.
I went to school for many years in order to practice therapy on humans, but I can’t even come close to the way Pearl handles rapport, alliance, and resistance. I wish she would open her own graduate school where I could supplement my degree with a Ph.D in hanging out with adorable animals. Call me, Pearl, I want to enroll!
That’s it for this week. Please send me links for next week, and try not to rob a bank this Wednesday. I haven’t gained my superpowers yet!
MORE BABY SLOTHS! That’s all I’m writing because I can’t get anything right today so I don’t want to say any more for risk of fucking up again. Except I will add that I love sloths and I’m so glad I have cable again so I can watch this. And I love cable. That’s all I’m saying.
From Lucy Cooke at slothville:
The Sunday Sloth: Mr Mom
This week I’d like you to meet Cosmo, seen here being snuggled by tiny newborn orphan Ella. Ella was only a few days old when she arrived at the sanctuary and needed another sloth to cling to. So Judy placed her with Cosmo whose success at fostering babies has earned him the nickname Mr Mom even though he’s still a baby himself. Ella loves Cosmo and when not snoozing she likes to suckle his ear for comfort and always sleeps with her arms wrapped tightly around him. Anyone else fancy a cuddle from Cosmo?
Oh. Em. Gee.
Sloth update: they’re still adorbs! I think Lucy Cooke is making a whole movie about the baby sloth rescue! Sorry Black Swan, THAT is a movie I would see! Why are they so tiny?! Just to break my heart?!
Sorry for the delay, this sloth video came out two weeks ago. You know I always keep you up to date on sloth news but this sloth video is sort of a different beast than the last one from the sloth orphanage. Remember that one? It was adorbs! This one is kind of adorbs too, it’s just that, well, this one is about pooping. It’s a potty-training video. I’m so serious. Enjoy!
Here’s a newish video about moths by Lucy Cooke, creator of that awesome and adorable baby sloth video. It can’t compare to baby sloths, but what can?! It’s still cool though. So many kinds of moths! I like the ones that look like leaves—who’s with me?! Those guys are totally cool. They’re all, “I’m a moth! I’m a leaf! I’m a moth! I’m a leaf! I’m a moth AND a leaf!”
As suggested in the video, head over to the Amazon Conservation Association to see how you can help save the rainforest. And if you need a sloth fix, Cooke created a longer, more informative, slightly less cute video for The Cute Show. I love Alfie! He’ll stay a puppy forever! That’s the ultimate dream. And how cute is it when they hold the babies by their arms? So cute. OMG I need a sloth!!! Seriously, I can’t continue without one. Purse sloth! I’m coming for you!
More baby sloths! »
Does everyone remember that superfantasticamazing sloth video we posted? Well guess what: there’s more to come! Lucy Cooke, a frog-activist and filmmaker, has gone back to the sloth orphanage in Costa Rica to supply us with more sloth “cute-crack” as she calls it (as “cute imagery really does work like crack by stimulating the reward centre of the brain”). She plans to make more videos but for now, there are some HOLY-CRAP-CUTE pictures! OMG I NEED A SLOTH TO KEEP IN MY POCKET!
Kill me now. It’s BABY SLOTHS at a SLOTH ORPHANAGE. There’s no reason to ever watch cute animal videos ever again, because this is the end of the line, folks. Watch this now, then set fire to your computer. The internet no longer has a purpose.
[Ed.: Megan Rascal wrote this part while Steve was posting the video, so we thought, Let’s combine their powers and make a super-post!]
Can you stand it? Happy little baby sloths! But they weren’t always this happy; these poor guys are all from broken homes. They are like really, really slow Orphan Annies. These are all residents at the Aviaros Sloth Sanctuary, which was created to protect and rehabilitate the sloths of the Costa Rica. It’s a sloth orphanage, an education center and did I mention the SLOTHPITAL? That’s what they call their sloth hospital and I approve. Now for the best news: they have a little hotel in the middle of the sanctuary where you can actually stay and eat breakfast with the orphaned baby sloths! You’ll be eating your soy yogurt, they’ll be eating their soy yogurt—it’s a goddamn (non-racist) Disney movie! (it might still be racist, I don’t know, I’m not a scientist)
They also have a volunteer program where one of your duties is “sloth wrangling”—um, everybody say goodbye to Megan Rascal because I think I’ve found my calling! I can’t believe I spent all that time in “college” when I could have been “sloth wrangling.” WTF!
This video isn’t just adorable, there’s a neat story behind it too (that’s right, NEATO!). The video comes from frog-enthusiast Lucy Cooke. She is filmmaker traveling around Latin America in an effort to save struggling frog populations from a killer fungus. I did not make this up! But why is she taking pictures of sloths? She thought you might ask: “Well, I’ve realised that frogs have a bit of PR problem and are not as popular as they deserve to be given how diverse, funny and amazing they are. So I’ve decided to pimp out the sloths to try and save the frogs.” Pimping out Peter to pay Paul (that’s our new favorite phrase! Try using it in a sentence tomorrow)! You can read more about her project and about her trip to the sloth sanctuary on her blog.
Steve says: Wait, there’s a BLOG with more sloth videos? OK, internet. You might still have some life left in you after all.