Automate your tedious and time-consuming companion animal bond with the Dog-e-Minder! »
Keep forgetting to feed your dog? Not sure if anyone took Fido out for a walk even though he’s running around in circles and desperately clawing at the door to get out? Or maybe you’re looking to show your furry loved one this Valentine’s Day exactly how much you care. WELL YOU’RE IN LUCK! The Dog-e-Minder promises to be your dog’s new best friend, because, you’re just too busy.
Seriously, check this out. Hang it on your dog’s collar and record the last time you fed, walked, or gave him or her medicine just by pressing a button. There’s the fire hydrant button for walk time, the dog bone button for meal time, and the Rx button for medication. It comes in four attractive colors, hand-dyed by the tiny hands of child laborers and imported from China. ORDER NOW and they’ll include a bonus Puppy Piñata™!
Anyway, what do you guys think? Would this really save a lot of headaches of owning a dog in a larger household, or should I stick with my knee-jerk reaction of “at least now it’s easier to identify the truly awful dog parents just by passing them on the street”? Who am I kidding, As Seen On TV junk is THE BEST!
Yes, your dog is whimpering by his bowl because someone else already fed him.
Dogs need Snuggies too! I know you might be thinking, “This is CRAZY (stupid),” but come on! It keeps them warm—especially necessary in this chillywilly SF weather—and leaves their paws free to do other things. Activities pictured on the package include changing the television channel, eating popcorn, playing backgammon, and smoking ciggies (JK smoking’s bad for you).
Snag yours at Walgreens for only $10, and give the gift of fleecy love to your favorite canine. While you’re at it, get yourself a human version (It’s the fanny pack of 2009! And 2010! That doesn’t even make sense!), take a photo, and submit it to one of those “I look like my companion animal” competitions. You know you want to, fame whore.