vegansaurus!

» BREAKING: Bob Barker Collapses at Shooting Range?!

OUR HERO!! I hope he is OK!

So much of this doesn’t make sense:

1) Barker is still alive HE IS SO OLD (but this is good news);
2) SHOOTING RANGE?!!? Wha??? Maybe he was living a double life, Dexter-style, where he had to shoot cans to keep from shooting bunnies! Drama! Intrigue! (related: who is gonna take me to a shooting range? I think I’d be very good at this, what with my lack of depth perception, terrible vision, and unmatched RAGE);
3) I always thought he’d go down doing it with one of his Beauties. What? I’m a romantic!

Update (4:06pm):
Seems he was just dehydrated and is going to be A-OK with some rest. OR SO THEY CLAIM. perhaps something more sinister is at play here. Time to call on Jonas & Hazel’s Human/Canine Detective Agency! Solving All Crimes and Eating All Clues Since 2008!