Please welcome new vegan athletes Arian Foster and Venus Williams! »
You’ve heard the news, right? Arian Foster, running back for the Houston Texans, has gone vegan! You should read his Twitter, he’s being totally chill about it, just like any other person on earth who might choose to adopt a vegan diet—except he’s a famous athlete and lots of people are invested in his entire life. So it’s exciting! Welcome to the club, dude, it’s pretty great over here.
Even more exciting news: Venus Williams has adopted a raw vegan diet! Good for you, lady! Remember how Venus and Serena were planning to go raw at the beginning of the year? Of course you do, you love Jenny Bradley’s vegan celebrity news. Recently, Venus has said that she started eating raw vegan after being diagnosed with the autoimmune disease Sjogren’s syndrome. We are sincerely sorry about that, as she is a tremendous athlete, and we hope this diet helps alleviate her symptoms. Still, it’s a big week for ass-kicking in the vegan-eating world, and we’re proud to welcome another member.
Team Vegan is going to win so many more events at the next Veg vs. Meatmouth Olympics.
Please welcome new vegans Michelle Pfeiffer and Larry Hagman! »
I’m on the celebrity beat this week because your regular vegan celebrity news correspondent is on vacation, like a fancy lady! Come back soon, Jenny! Come back soon so I don’t confuse Sharon Stone with Michelle Pfeiffer again, like an idiot.
So, celebrity news: First,
Sharon Stone Michelle Pfeiffer announced last week on CNN that a CNN program, “The Last Heart Attack,” and reading a book called Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease, inspired her to adopt a vegan diet because she doesn’t want to die of heart disease related to the consumption of animal products. This is like how I’ve started intermittent standing at my desk because I don’t want to die of sitting. Stars, they’re just like us! Ms. Sharon Stone Michelle Pfeiffer says she’s also working on getting her husband, David E. Kelley, to eat vegan as well, which shouldn’t be too hard. Who could say not to that glorious creature?
Next, Larry Hagman turned to a vegan diet after being diagnosed with cancer last year; he says he’s now cancer-free, and healthy enough to work again, reprising his role as J.R. Ewing on TNT’s new Dallas. Which means nothing to me, as a person who grew up in a General Hospital household, but some people are excited about/dubious of/irritated by this thing. Larry here has said that he plans to eat fish and eggs again, which is too bad, but eliminating milk is a big and good deal. Cow’s milk is a terrible, harmful industry! Stay off the teat, Larry.
We’re always happy to have new members of team vegan. OK, maybe not jerks, but observing a vegan diet can mitigate from general personal awfulness. The point is, famous people going vegan, hooray! Welcome to the club, celebrities! We promise not to ask for your autograph (unless you want us to), and to share our vegan secrets. Now, what are you bringing to the potluck?