Dude, Janet Jackson is (almost? or is?) vegan!? And she loves eating at vegan restaurants! I had no idea! Ms. Jackson’s (‘cause I’m nasty!) music has gotten me through many rough times, namely middle school through present day. Anyway, she was on Jay “I am your grandfather but worse because we’re not related and I have a fucking tv show” Leno last night talking about all her favorite vegan restaurants, she loves Vegan Glory (she loves the tacos and chicken nuggets!) in Los Angeles and Red Bamboo (she loves the chicken parmesan!) in New York City. She is so very adorable and Jay Leno is THE WORST OMG GRANDPA GET OFF THE AIR.
Now, please excuse me while I go listen to “If” a million times. OMG, let’s totally talk about favorite Janet songs now. What’s yours!? There was a point in middle school when I dressed all in black and ran around my house acting out the entire Rhythm Nation album. There was definitely some moves during “Black Cat” that were not PG-13 and I think I might have dry-humped a couch at one point? My parents must have been entirely checked out for the majority of my childhood because how was I not institutionalized!?
Dude, Good motherfucking Housekeeping is releasing a VEGAN COOKBOOK!?!?!! »
I repeat, GOOD HOUSEKEEPING IS RELEASING A VEGAN COOKBOOK. Like, with vegan recipes in it. No, Dear Readers, your eyes do not deceive you and this ain’t no April Fools joke (we’re not that clever and it’s totally November GET A JOB SO YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT MONTH IT IS AGAIN*).
I don’t know, it’s either the apocalypse or pigs or flying or a baseball team from the Bay Area won The World Series or SOMETHING because that shit is carazay. Thanks, Little Old White Ladies of Good Housekeeping for bringing vegan food to the masses; really, we can’t thank you enough. Also, will you PLEASE have recipes for shit like vegan ambrosia salad and vegan Jell-O mold cakes and all that crazy shit you wacky broads love? Because I hella want to eat all of that. Please send us a review copy, please.
*Actually, fuck that, stay unemployed for as long as your hot freeloading ass can handle it. When I’m fired from everything, I will lay in bed all day long eating bon bons and watching Eastbound and Down (check out my Kenny Powers pumpkin!) and Boardwalk Empire and Law & Order: SVU (the grossest and most enGROSSing L&O) [Ed.: OMG girl Sons of Anarchy!] and every show ever until I die, the end.
Bob Harper serves up vegan dinner on “The Biggest Loser” »
Out of all the reality shows I watch, admitting that I actually watched two hours of weight-loss porn The Biggest Loser has been the hardest one to own up to. Not even my summer obsession with Big Brother summoned the amount of shame I currently feel.
Amidst all the Jillian Michaels yelling and nonstop crying and “emotional breakthroughs,” trainer Bob Harper took several of the contestants to his home and served them a lovely vegan meal on last night’s episode, cooked by a “good friend” of his. The contestants didn’t appear to complain too much; in fact they all talked about how much they loved the color of the food. I didn’t get a chance to write down what Bob served, but if you did, please leave it in the comments!
Bob went vegan this year in an effort to lower his cholesterol. The actual diet contestants eat on The Biggest Loser isn’t mentioned very often, except when it’s to shill for a brand. He talks a bit about vegan eating in the following video from his website.
[can’t see the video? watch it on vegansaurus.com!]
It should go without saying that we aren’t in any way advocating what TBL does to its contestants. Vegansaurus remains a no-diet zone!
Announcing Vegansaurus’ super-secret, super-awesome Top Chef: Just Desserts project! »
You guys, it’s going to be great! I wish we could tell you more about it—we are so close to having all our seeds in a row, so to speak—but for now, I can say that Your Vegansaurus has fun surprises in store for you in the coming weeks! Fun surprises directly related to the new Bravo show Top Chef: Just Desserts!
We are unaffiliated with the Bravo network, although our Maria owns and operates Bravo Gossip, which we love!, and as far as we know the only connection Just Desserts has to veganism is contestant Zac Young’s mother and the “tofu and carob pudding” she inflicted on him as a child (if it doesn’t contain dairy you’re not allowed to call it mousse?), but we are Vegansaurus—our coverage will be relevant to your vegan lifestyle, we promise.
Top Chef: Just Desserts airs on Bravo tonight at 11 (Eastern/Pacific), and every Wednesday hereafter at 10. Your enjoyment of this new feature probably won’t depend on watching the show, but it might enhance it—who can say? And of course, if anyone starts paying us to tell you to watch television, we’ll let you know. So, you know, WATCH WHAT HAPPENS tonight on Bravo! Or not! It is your choice! Not subscribing to a cable service is a perfectly legitimate choice, one for which Your Vegansaurus doesn’t judge you. Maybe you want to visit a friend who does, though. Because this is going to be GREAT!
See you soon with more big news, friends!
Appalled Jamie Oliver is appalled because these students at a West Virginia public school don’t know a tomato from a potato (literally). Thank god for his new TV program, Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, in which he’ll teach us lardy American barbarians about beets and greens and not stuffing our faces with frenchy fries 24/7.
Of course Vegansaurs have been on top of this for ages—remember the Healthy School Lunches program?—but as none of us has a proto-mullet, a foreign accent, or an array of best-selling cookbooks, ABC has yet to offer us a “Vegansaurus in Your Kitchen” (or whatever) show.
I promise it’d be better than fully 50 percent of the “original” programming on TV today, plus EDUCATIONAL! But whatever, ABC, go with Jamie Oliver, child-humiliator. Your choice.
(thanks, Grub Street San Francisco!)
Did you want more animal videos today? It is YOUR DAY! This one, titled “Deer on the Loose,” is a montage of local news coverage of deer in unusual places. There’s also a song!
Puppy Bowl!!!! »
Videogum introduces the 2010 Puppy Bowl starting lineup!! Needs more !!!!!!!!
Why should you care about the Puppy Bowl? It is sponsored by disgusting-ass Pedigree, which is The Worst, and it’s all HEY PUPPIES without any of the HEY RESPONSIBILITY parts, which is what leads to shit like spending $1,000 on a super-special puppy and abandoning it two weeks later when it pees on the floor and doesn’t stop barking when you yell at it.
HOWEVER: the majority of the puppy bowl players are mixed breeds. Further, you cannot be a human being with a heart and begrudge puppies their adorability. Look at Jersey Boy, he is basically a blonde otter. COME ON.
Even further, puppies are objectively more entertaining than dudes in shiny outfits knocking brain damage into each other. Professional football is no Friday Night Lights, and if you need to spend 10 hours with the television on while you bicker through a mouthful of seven-layer dip about who’s the better runner or whatever with your friends, I posit that puppies both make for superior background TV and subjects of debate.
Don’t argue with me, I am on the side of PUPPIES.
Alicia Silverstone on Oprah today! »
Set your VCRs, DVRs, and Bittorrent TV-stealy programs: Alicia Silverstone will be on Oprah today! She’ll be on with Michael Pollan (who I know most of you hate but I count anyone who goes around persuading Americans to eat more plants and less meat as an ally) with some footage from Food Inc. At this rate, the Oprahnator is going to need an entire show on her new TV network devoted to vegan cooking and food politics. (Hint, hint, and PS hire me to produce it, I’m not remotely qualified but I swear it’ll be good.)
Tune in today; check your local listings for times, or just watch the grainy version later on YouTube.
HBO presents Claire Danes with a mouthful of marbles as Temple Grandin: the lady who redesigned feedlots so as not to freak out the cows on their death march. Because she’s autistic and so she has a DEEP SPIRITUAL CONNECTION with animals that’s why she helped devise a better way to kill them, to quote a certain sarcastic Vegansaur.
This version of Ms. Grandin’s life story will air on Sunday, Feb. 6 at 8 p.m. on HBO. Anyone going to watch? Interested at all? I don’t know if I could stand two hours of Claire Danes stomping around doing that voice, plus cow-death. The trailer’s enough to make a person feel stabby.