vegansaurus!

New Restaurant Review: Green Papaya Vegetarian Thai!

Green Papaya, an ALL-VEGAN THAI RESTAURANT in downtown Berkeley, opened this week. Upon walking in, one might feel as if he or she is in the center of a fresh papaya, with long walls freshly painted green and pink curtains.

Glancing at the shiny flat screen pasted on the wall, I thought we were in a Supreme Master joint, but then I saw BEER. The menu was super-cute, with appetizers billed as “chill chill,” salads as “yum yum,” and soups as “warm up.” They brought us Thai iced tea on the house. I was sort of anticipating fake meat galore (a la every vegan thai restaurant in Hollywood) but was shown a world of tofu, lightly fried seitan, and fresh vegetables. While my tastebuds missed the processed soy, my butthole said “thank you.”

Despite the lack of faux mutton or veggie whole duck or whatever, the menu was pretty inventive. We started with Curry Puffs, which are four deep-fried triangles stuffed with a moist mixture of pumpkin, shiitake, potato, onion, and pepper.

Then came the delicious Pad Thai. Probably my 4th best ever. And finally: the lunch special, Seitanic Broccoli (my name, not theirs); a mound of rice, crispy tofu skewers (or spring roll), and a sweet cucumber salad.

You don’t have to say “no egg pretty PRETTY please!,” they won’t mistake your gluten dish for beef chunks, and there is no fish sauce—ever.

They’re open daily from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m., and located a mere block from the downtown Berkeley Bart station at 2016 Shattuck Ave. Check it out!

Central Vegetarian!

Central Vegetarian is a new vegetarian/vegan restaurant on Park Street, the main drag in Alameda, a tropical isle of dreams, located on the idyllic SF Bay, a.k.a. The Biggest Little City on Earth. I grew up on The Island and finding ONE restaurant with even ONE vegan item on it is like trying to figure out how Star Jones gets out of bed in the morning instead of just killing herself. It’s like Labyrinth, bitches. Next to impossible. However, with the opening of Central Vegetarian, we have a player in the game, folks! With a menu that is nearly identical to Golden Era in San Francisco and Golden Lotus in Oakland, you can’t help but believe this is a Supreme Master Ching Hai Enterprise.* And it is: the chef/owner used to work in the kitchen at Golden Lotus but then realized she was hell of in a cult and jumped ship, taking the recipes with her! You go, girl!

The menu is mainly Vietnamese but there are some Chinese and Thai dishes. If you’re not a moron, you will order any of the clay pots, CARAMELIZED CHICKEN (!!!), Spicy Gourmet Chicken (!!!) and the Veggie Chow Fun. It’s cheap, filling and delicious. A VERY VERY VERY welcome addition to the prestigious Alameda eating scene. It takes its place alongside Subway and Applebees to complete the trifecta of Alameda Power Eating (APE). Watch your back, Gary Danko; APE is coming to get you and what we lack in deliciousness, we make up for in knife fights.

*God, I love that crazy bitch. She doesn’t believe in alcohol, drugs, sex, meat or happiness. Obviously, I’m down. With most of it. I mean one thing of it.