Today, Friday, Nov. 19, Chef Roberto makes a vegan Thanksgiving meal on The Ellen Show! Boyfriend whips up a seitan-based vegan turkey that sounds absolutely delicious and they eat it and it looks rad, and there are recipes for the rest of Ellen and Portia’s vegan Thanksgiving feast on the website. Now we can all be more like Ellen and Portia because really, that’s how we should all live our lives. Every morning, get out of bed and go, “How can I be more like Ellen and Portia today?” The world would totally be a better place if everyone did that. And a cuter place. And a smarter place. And a more hilarious place. OK, I’ll stop while I’m still slightly short of Single White Female.
Ellen offers Lady Gaga lettuce bikini (or something?) »
Lady Gaga wore a meat suit (I say suit here because he’s a dude*) to the VMA’s, and later (or was it before?), Ellen politely asks her to wear a suit made of veggies instead. So cute, read more. Also, anyone grossed out by the meat suit who wears leather, I CALL BULLSHIT BECAUSE I’M THE VEGAN POLICE! Also, Gaga won’t wear fur. The plot thickens (or gets stupider, I’m not sure which).
It’s awesome when Ellen does this shit because she’s so g-d likable that she can get away with being all, “Yo, you and that was gross, wear this instead to be less gross.” and everyone is like, “OMG YOU ARE SO RIGHT AND SMART, ELLEN.” and it’s true because she is. More vegans like her, please!
[can’t see the video? watch it at vegansaurus.com!]
Update: The hilarious geniuses at Shut Up, Foodies! have Things to Say about the meat dress as well; things that are most definitely worth reading! “She also had an escort of soldiers who had been discharged because of DADT–which should really be called GGO for “Gay? Get Out”–but the soldiers didn’t get to say anything. It is kind of precarious to insert yourself into the discussion that way and then not let those who have actually been harmed speak.”
*And this is a STUPID JOKE EVERYONE CHILL I KNOW SHE IS FEMALE(ish). OMG WHAT! Don’t worry, I love Gaga as much (or more) than you do (have you committed to “Paparazzi” as your ringtone? WELL THEN STEP OFF) and making fun of her absurdity is half the fun. She doesn’t need you to defend her, she’s too busy fucking piles of money every night with her gigantic penis SO RUDE!