My nightmare is coming true: European catfish leap from the water to catch birds »
Look at them! Lurking just under the water! I have said forever that fish are entirely untrustworthy, that if they had any sense at all they’d all go full piranha and start devouring us air-breathing, water-defiling jerks. And now, they’ve begun.
Per Ed Yong at Not Exactly Rocket Science, European catfish in the River Tarn are hunting pigeons on a gravel island in the city of Albi. The pigeons innocently step into the water to bathe, and the catfish leap out of the water to catch a bird, drag it under, and swallow it whole. WELCOME TO NIGHTMARE TOWN:
[Can’t see the video? Watch it on Vegansaurus.com]
See? Terrifying. And the speculation just makes it worse:
The European catfish is an alien, introduced into the Tarn in 1983, and currently flourishing there. Is it possible that these invaders have eaten too many local fish and are forced to seek sustenance elsewhere? Does this explain why it seems to be the smaller catfish that go after pigeons? Or is it that the smaller individuals are less likely to be permanently stranded on shore, or expend less energy in wiggling back into the water? Why, essentially, is a bird in the mouth worth being a fish out of water?
You realize what’s going to happen, right? Humans are going to empty the seas of all but the least edible fishes, which, denied every other form of sustenance, will have to turn to eating bathing animals of all species to survive. WE ARE THE CREATORS OF OUR OWN DESTRUCTION.
[Photo and video via Not Exactly Rocket Science]
That sexy, sexy cupcake is from Sweet Elites, a VEGAN BAKERY in FRESNO. Your eyes do not deceive you, there is a VEGAN BAKERY in FUCKING FRESNO. Do you know what this means? Oh, it’s ON, world! The vegans are coming up! Our future’s so bright, we gotta wear shades! While eating our VEGAN CUPCAKES in FUCKING FRESNO. It’s a good* day, folks.
*ish. There’s always something to complain about!
[Tip from the delightful Cupcakes Take the Cake!]
Remember when we were all OMG GOOD HOUSEKEEPING IS MAKING A VEGAN COOKBOOK WHAT?! and you were all STFU and we were all YOU STFU and then we hugged and jumped up and down and hugged some more? Well, that shit is available for pre-order! This is crazy exciting, let’s buy four copies each and show those whackadoo old tricks what’s for!