Why aren’t there [reliably] vegan Girl Scout Cookies? »
'Tis the season when we send adorable little female children out onto the streets to hawk grease-bombs. Once upon a time I was a wee girl scout, bugging my mom's coworkers in order to earn the fuzzy stuffed tiger you could get for selling enough cookies.
No more! Turns out the best antidote to falling prey to the vixens with their overpriced sweets is a commitment to an ethical diet. Because depending on where you live, it’s quite possible there’s not a single GS cookie flavor that’s vegan! Not one!
The situation is pretty complicated. Troops can get their cookies from one of two bakeries. One of the bakeries, Little Brownie Bakers, is easy to hate because they put milk in EVERYTHING. The other, ABC Bakers, actually has quite a few vegan cookies (Shout Outs!, Lemonades, Peanut Butter Patties, Thanks-A-Lot, even Thin Mints!). Depending on where you live, the girls may be peddling a decent vegan selection, or they may look at you like you’re insane if you ask for such a thing. (Here’s the nutrition info for cookies, FYI.)
I’m calling bullshit. Why should I have to work so hard to decipher this shit? Why are Little Brownie Bakers so much lamer than ABC?
Seems like there are two things to do:
- Bug the National Girl Scouts to make more cookie vegan. You can copy the letter I sent them if you want to be lazy (of course you do!), it’s at the bottom of the post.
- Talk to your local Girl Scouts about making sure they get their cookies from ABC. Find their contact info here.
In the meantime, guess those of us unlucky enough to live in Little Brownie Baker territory have to just make our own Thin Mints. Who’s mailing them to me?
VEGAN THIN MINTS. That’s right, adorable vegan culinary genius Chloe Coscarelli has a recipe for these glorious mothertruckers. WHAT’S MORE, it puts the Thin Mints peddled by those half-pint drug-pushers TO SHAME.
If one of you ungrateful readers/my mom doesn’t put them in my face right now, I swear to GOD, I will go on a shooting* rampage through the lower 48.
*shooting = eating.