A 655-pound sea turtle gets rescued! Looks cutish! »
Can’t see the video? Watch it on Vegansaurus.com!
This poor, giant turtle got stranded in Massachusetts, but luckily Mass. Audubon and IFAW were there to help. You can watch him (her?) being rescued above.
There’s something endearing about this giant leatherback turtle. It’s not just that they are endangered and all these people are helping to rescue this one, it’s something in his funny face. Do you see it? Maybe he just reminds me of a giant Cecil Turtle:
Can’t see the video? Watch it on Vegansaurus.com!
Hello, Friends! it’s WTF Wednesday! »
You guys, Allen and I bought a tv! This means we are together forever! Allen tried to inform me that the washer and dryer we’d purchased two years ago was a bigger deal but fuck clean clothes, I can finally use the Playstation 3 I bought him like 15 thousand years ago (for him! Not for me!) and play all of the awesome games I’ve been missing out on while Allen has been waffling on what kind of TV we were going to get. And we can truly test the limits of our relationship as Allen sees how incredibly angry I can get at a video game and also at anyone who tries to help me or suggests that if ‘very easy’ is too intense or difficulty for me then perhaps I should use the console as a Blu-ray and tv-watching machine and save some money.
Actually, Allen has been incredibly helpful in beating some of the games and on Saturday we accomplished the feat of completing God of War in a cooperative manner. Earlier that day, Allen and I had gotten locked out of our apartment and I had not been as cooperative in understanding how he could have left the house without keys as I was when he was unable to murder a horde of harpies the first time he tried. Allen sees this as a problem. I do not. Sometimes I feel Allen does not focus on the important things in life, like saving ancient Athens from burning and freeing yourself of the memories of all the people you’ve slaughtered along the way.
At least I’m not lonely, though. I mean Allen and I bicker constantly but it’s fun and playful and I wouldn’t be able to be a part of any relationship in which I couldn’t constantly threaten murder and evisceration upon my partner (Allen knows I am too lazy to actually follow through). We can’t say the same for Lonesome George, the giant rare tortoise who passed away earlier this month. He refused to be in any relationship! I respect that, but I wouldn’t be able to do it. And it makes me feel kind of lonely just thinking about him and his lonesome death an the fact that he was the last tortoise of his kind and he was just going to take that with him. Actually, that part I kind of get, just set it all on fire when you go.
Just as Lonesome George was dying, though, three rare White Tiger cubs were born in the Ukraine (Hi Ukraine! Remember when I lived next to you?). That reminds me of this one time Laura and I were watching House and a woman collapsed in the first two minutes and I was all “Aneurysm!” because I had been playing a lot of Trauma Center and Laura was all “I bet she’s pregnant,” and she was! And then Laura predicted that the woman would have to die to give the baby life and she was correct then too, and then she spent ten minutes after the episode explaining the mysteries of life to me because I just didn’t understand. Which is exactly what this seems like.
Just so we’re not all depressed as we venture forth on this glorious hump-day (I am writing this in bed before I have to go to work!) here’s a video of a baby turtle (on theme!) eating the fuck out of a giant raspberry. This video really makes me want to go out and eat raspberries but only serves to remind me that the only thing I have to look forward to is a bowl of oatmeal after an hour of step aerobics.
That’s it for this week! Please send me links and PS3 recommendations for next week and have a harpy free Wednesday!
This week in the magazine, William Finnegan travels to Madagascar with Eric Goode [sub. req.], a Manhattan night-life baron “who tramps through mountains looking for turtles, tortoises, snakes, lizards, frogs, crocodilians,” Finnegan writes.
In this video, Goode seeks out the world’s rarest turtle, the plowshare tortoise. While trying to help save it from extinction, he travels to a wildlife conservatory and finds himself in a high-risk negotiation with local smugglers.
Learn all about the plowshare tortoise with the New Yorker!
Naturally, the babies are super cute.
Click through to watch the video, where these screencaps come from.
Turtles high-five! Awesomeness abounds. What a way to start the new year!
I worry though, is this as jovial as it looks? Or are they maybe like slap-fighting? Don’t fight, turtles! I love you both!
Remember slap-fights? WTF was that about?
Turtles! Acting out emoticon faces! It’s awesome because turtles are the best, and now whenever anyone puts a stupid emoticon face in a lame thing they write to you, you can just go ahead and imagine one of these little guys instead! YAY!
Top 10 links of the week: a festive boat ride through the sea of veganism! »
[This poor turtle got his leg burned and it had to be amputated. Poor guy! I’m glad they gave him a wheel but am I the only one who thinks this wheel is kind of difficult to maneuver? He’s using it kind of like a stub, it looks like.]
Brooklyn Bliss is doing a giveaway for a four-piece Paul Labrecque curly hair care kit valued at $92! They tell me the brand is vegan. Go enter or whatever, you curly-headed bastards.
The NYT has the story on what happens when you get rid of top predators. It’s bad. Didn’t we talk about this last week? I could look but I am tired and it’s hot.
Here’s a dumb article about locavorism vs. not eating meat. What if you eat neither meat NOR dairy?
Apparently they have less cattle in America so beef costs are going up. I’m sure they can just get more from the Amazon! Slash and burn, baby!
Here are some stories from people who had terrible health issues that went vegan and got healthy!
In South Dakota, 1,500 cows died from heat exhaustion. Poor ranchers, am I right? Guys, they will lose money!
How turtles got their groove back »
Oh, turtles, you and your sexytimes. More than 100 diamondback terrapins shut down a runway at JFK Airport. Haha! The turtles were looking for a good place to lay their eggs, and they had to cross the runway to get to the water. Wildlife specialists moved them out of harm’s way so that those at the top of the food chain can get on with their nature-subjugating lives. PRIORITIES, y’all. But seriously, work what your mamas gave you, turtles! GET IT ON!