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The Feast has up a great video about the making of the vegan charcuterie plate at Gather in Berkeley. That charcuterie is freaking delicious, and I love how fucking fancy it is. Bring on your puréed this and your flambéd that, you bougie weirdos! My current goal is to be a rich fat cat who just eats vegan charcuterie all day. Tomorrow it might be to eat a pie the size of my couch, but today? Today it’s the fat-cat charcuterie thing, and I’m currently taking applications for people who want to dump money on my face for nothing in return! Except maybe some naked vacuuming, because that’s something I already enjoy doing!
That’s the vegan charcuterie plate from Gather in Berkeley. First off, it’s pronounced, “shar-cooter-ee”. (Tee hee). Unlike in my piggy dreams, it’s not a giant plate of vegan sausages topped with more vegan sausages (never-ending vegan sausages!) but rather, a refined spread of the freshest market vegetables. Healthy? Boo! Actually, no, I can roll with the snobbiest eco-foodies around. Bring on your fancy vegetables, Gather. Bring me your roulades and your chiffonades and your other bougie food words I don’t fully understand. The charcuterie (tee) is a delightful dish of different vegetables sliced, diced, julienned, and combined to create a taste sensation heretofore unknown. Mushroom pâté, eggplant “brandade,” and carpaccio of watermelon radish and turnip. Don’t understand a word I just typed but damn, was it tasty.
They also have amaaaaazing cocktails that include infused vodkas and fresh muddled fruit and unique liquors. They are also a million dollars each but you only live (your drunken life) once! I also recommend the vegan soup, it is fantastic. All in all, lots of good vegan options in a very Berkeley environment WHICH I LOVE BECAUSE I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT ALL CITIES. I don’t know, I’m tired and I think you should all check out the vegan charcuterie (teehee) plate when you get a few extra dimes in your pocket. Plus, if you’re still hungry, you can head next door to Saturn and get your french fry on. That’s right I said GET YOUR FRENCH FRY ON. Learn it, live it, love it. OH AND I FORGOT TO MENTION (thanks, MD!), the vegan pizza with lipstick peppers and cashew cheese was the bomb GET IT.
A good chunk of this review was straight gaffled from my SFist column, which is all about the best of the best of vegan eats in and around San Francisco. If you go “like” it and perhaps leave a complimentary comment and then shoot me an email, I’ll send you a complimentary comment over email that I tailor to your specific awesomeness. I can also send you an insult if you’re into that, you big weirdo.