Jeff Mangum is VEGAN!? And he’s on TOUR!? Get a rope! »
You know, so we can all tie him up and marry him. The genius man-boy behind every hip-and-cool person’s favorite band Neutral Milk Hotel* is on tour, which is something he hardly ever does. Except for the animals BECAUSE HE’S AN AWESOME VEGAN. Of course he is! Look at him cuddle that chicken! I can’t wait for him to perform at our wedding when I marry him!
Because I think we should all get to marry him. I think he’ll love that because he’s not an intensely private person, or anything. You can’t escape love, Jeff. Especially when it clubs you on the head and keeps you hostage in an XL dog crate in the basement.
So, let’s all go see him! Tickets are on pre-sale now but the password is “layover” so SEE YOU THERE.
Finally, no disrespect, but I totally think Jim Carrey could play him in his biopic. Okay, I guess that was a little disrespect.
*who isn’t Azealia Banks. Lick those gums, lady! Really get in there! Also, love when she does the fake stairs thing. Also, don’t watch this if you hate swears because SHE LOVES SWEARS.
Stephan Nance: My new boyfriend goes on a world tour! »
I would never leave Allen, but if I were going to be all “to the left, to the left,” it would only be for an adorably awkward ginger who loves frozen yogurt, writes songs about how people should be nicer, and reminds me of a less cynical Bo Burnham and an off-Broadway musical about coming out to your mom and hugs. Luckily for Allen, such a dude did not exist to, and he has always responded to my threats with a nonchalant “good luck out there!”
Then I stumbled onto the website of Stephan Nance. OK, I didn’t stumble—why would I make a wholehearted effort at finding a replacement for Allen?—Stephan sent us an email to promote his upcoming tour and I thought I would take this opportunity to support his efforts and also break up with Allen in a really public fashion so he wouldn’t cause a scene. Just like in Jerry Maguire.
I also thought it would be fitting to write about this now because my ex (Allen) just informed me that Wednesday is “Ginger Wednesday” on turntable and we are totally rocking out in a room full of ginger avatars on there. Also, GET OFF THE COUCH, ALLEN! YOU HAVE TO MOVE OUT! Also-also: Stephan’s stuff is on turntable! I especially like “Immunodeficiency” and “Song For Losers.” What? I do my research!
Ok, so about my new boyfriend and his career: Stephan Nance (pronounced Steven but never spelled that way, as per his website) has come up with a genre all his own that he calls “awkwardly charming vegan straight-edge queer alternative piano pop.” Since I have trouble understanding genre in the first place—never mind that there is something called “blue-eyed soul” that is an accepted thing—I am just going to take his word for it. Also, every time I hear piano pop I am all “oh yeah, totally! Tori Amos! I love her!” This seems to annoy a lot of people because apparently Tori Amos is not the only person to play a piano. Prime example: Stephan Nance also plays the piano. And he doesn’t just play the piano; apparently he plays it for a cause. I can’t wrap my head around that either. I can’t even wake up for a cause, let alone write songs and then record myself doing them for one.
From Stephan’s email:
“I’m about to embark on a tour of vegan-friendly frozen yogurt shops (and other frozen treateries and places that happen to have vegan froyo or soft-serve) in Oregon and Northern California, with later dates in Washington and B.C. In part this will be to promote my first full-length album (to be released in September), A Troubled Piece of Fruit. Since the album isn’t quite ready, I’ll be bringing along an EP of five songs, A Piece of the Piece. My larger goal is to challenge the popular interdependence of entertainment and alcohol consumption, and to encourage musicians and all-ages, alcohol-free businesses (e.g., sweet frozen treat parlors) to build relationships that will be beneficial both mutually and for the community as a whole.”
Awesome. Why are you not getting dressed for this already? Oh, right you want to know where he’s playing. OK, here you go. I even noted which fro-yo “treateries” (new boyfriend, you are adorable with your little words!) serve vegan options and which are dubious (because their websites don’t state it).Also, you would probably look pretty silly getting dressed now considering he isn’t playing until next week.
- Saturday, Aug. 13 (TOMORROW!) at 7:30 p.m. at the Yogurt Hut in Ashland, Ore. (non-dairy options available!)
- Thursday, Aug. 18 at 7 p.m. at Redwood Yogurt in Arcata, Calif. (not explicitly stated!)
- Saturday, Aug. 20, time TBA, at the Sacramento Film & Music Festival in Sacramento (no information available!)
- Sunday, Aug. 21 at 5 p.m. at Nature’s Express in Berkeley (you kidding me? We did a piece on them. Get up on this!)
- Tuesday, Aug. 23 at 8 p.m. at Forté Frozen Yogurt in Merced, Calif. (not explicitly stated!)
- Saturday, Aug. 27 at the Vida Vegan Con Galarama in Portland, Ore. (All vegan, bitches! Also, Laura and Meave are speaking!!)
I suggest that you go to Stephan’s website and check out some of his music (which is definitely awkward and charming), and then go out and see him in concert. I also suggest that you purchase his EP and also his full-blown album when it is released. Not just because it is really good, but because as my new boyfriend he is going to have to spend some cash to impress me. In “Song For Losers” he suggests that he would like to take me to the fair and win me a teddy bear. That’s all well and good, but I also need to visit the fun house and the rollercoaster for adventurous three-year-olds. And that is $20 minimum right there. At least this kid
doesn’t even have has a “like” page on Facebook.
I also need yarn, Stephan! You need to sell more CDs!
[can’t see the videos? watch them on Vegansaurus.com]
If you don’t know about Soko, well, my friends, get acquainted. Not only is she the cutest Parisian-turned-Californian/actress/lo-fi indie folkster, she’s a vegan blogger! Our so-called vegan life is a collaborative effort between “two vegan musician friends, Aska & Soko, based in L.A. (vegan heaven), sharing vegan tips and insights from all over the world!”
With posts on recipes, what to eat while vegan in Paris, and New York dinners with Kate Nash and Nick Zinner, I challenge you to not spend the rest of your night alone in front of the computer, reading the entire site and listening to Soko’s complete catalog on youtube. (Please don’t let it just be me who does that kind of thing).
Nellie Mckay rules for several reasons:
- She’s vegan!
- LOOK AT THAT PIT BULL IN PEARLS!!! Totally getting Hazel a strand or two.
- SHE’S MOTHERFUCKING INSANE. She’s the kind of insane where you ask her what time it is and she’ll tell you, “cookie.” Love this bitch.