vegansaurus!

04/16/2010

Shocking tasers, shorted-out circuits, and food porn in today’s SHOCKING (themed) link-o-rama!  »

How about that: a goat in a blue suit! According to Vice, who did the photoshoot, it’s Look 25 from Dunhill’s spring/summer 2010 collection. I’m not sure about that, honestly—I think it just as easily could be Look 27. Thoughts?

By the way, this is Steve filling in for Meave this week, who blames her absence on a shorted out MacBook keyboard following a coffee spill disaster. But between you and me, I’m suspecting cilantro poisoning.

Upcoming vegan events!
Like vegan cupcakes? Feeling judgy? Then sign up to be a judge for the 2nd Annual Vegan Cupcake Bake-off on May 22nd in Oakland. This will probably be the biggest field trip ever, so get those permission slips sorted out in advance.

Here’s an epic battle of the century that you won’t want to miss, organized by VegNews and Earth Island Journal. Cattle rancher-turned-vegan Howard Lyman and Niman Ranch co-founder Nicolette Niman will debate why or why not meat is a sustainable and ethical product. Tickets are $10 and will sell out quickly.

Miscellaneous items of significant social importance!
The Taser company funded a “study” that involved anesthetizing sheep, putting them on a methamphetamine IV drip, and then shocking them with Tasers—in order to test “the effects of Tasers on meth-addled targets.” But don’t worry, it didn’t cause the sheep any immediate heart problems!

Kelly Osborne has discovered the super-grossnosity of the U.S. meat industry, and in response has resolved to eat only “organic” meat.

Speaking of grossnosity, McDonald’s really, really doesn’t want to buy even 5 percent of its eggs for its U.S. stores from cage-free sources.

Mumbai now has an all-organic farmers market, which sells produce, cotton candy (YES PLEASE), “paint, paper, furniture, and cosmetics,” and prepared food like vegan quiche. Because we didn’t need enough reasons to visit India.

SFoodie has created a map to our fine city’s many seasonal farmers markets, where you can probably buy some wild leeks, a.k.a. ramps, which are this year’s fancy decorative green that non-professionals apparently don’t know what to do with. Or something.

The best baguette in Paris can be bought in Montmartre for less than two euro. But if you want to live forever, you had better forswear bread—and 50 percent of your body’s desired caloric intake—for the rest of that forever-life. The near-anorexics will rule us all, if very weakly.

Our local paper of record likes us; they really like us. SFGate started up a new vegan and vegetarian lifestyle section. We’re looking forward to more local coverage of veg issues, but we’re a bit less excited about the witty and insightful comments that we’re bound to get from the white-flight crowd that hangs out over there. Flame suits, on.

The Kitchn is on a vegan kick this week, with 10 Vegan Lunch Ideas. But breakfast is the most important meal of the day (especially if you eat breakfast food for lunch and dinner), so why not click through to their 10 Vegan Breakfast Ideas while you’re at it?

Killer whales kill (duh), unless you’re a dog. Then they’re like, “hop on my back, little friend, and I will take you on a magical tour of my sea kingdom.” But dogs aren’t safe if sharks are around so don’t forget a pair of “I’m With Orca” board shorts for your dog on beach walks.

Oh great. Almost everyone knows about the trash island the size of Texas floating in the Pacific, but did you know there are four others just like it? Check out photos from the North Atlantic Gyre courtesy of The 5 Gyres Project. I really can’t wait for a future of marine life evolved to eat a diet entirely of plastic.

WildCare brings us 15 seconds of how-can-I-exist-in-a-world-with-orphaned-ducklings tears in video form. Spring time means heavy rains and orphaned ducks in storm drains, so go sponsor some baby ducks, or the videos will keep getting sadder and shorter. No pressure.

The Winter Olympics are over, but how about a video of two dogs who may just win the gold in luge in 2014. 

Humans are smarter and better than animals at everything, except for all the things they do exactly the same as us. Researchers in Portugal discovered that rats can understand complex game theory, and successfully cooperate with each other or manipulate other players in the classic Prisoner’s Dilemma game scenario.

Trace residue of hexane in soy burgers may have been the big health scare news story of the week, so of course this USDA report about veterinary drugs, pesticides, and heavy metals in the meat supply will get just as much attention, right? (Right guys? Guys? Anyone?)

Here’s some vegan chocolate food porn from chef and food stylist Claire Thomas, along with some bonus food erotica from The Physiology of Taste, written in 1825, describing how hot chocolate would have been prepared (with water, no milk) at Versaille.

Vegan.com says that Michael Pollan is "dodging the discussion" with Jonathon Safran Foer over criticism in Eating Animals, but saying that “nobody is anti-meat enough for the animal-rights purists” reads more like fighting words than an outright dodge. Sounds to us like it’s time to settle this one in the Octagon.

And because cats are the best, we’ll leave you with a video news clip about the Agee Sanctuary near Sacramento, new home of feral cats recently rescued from a Chinatown housing project. Apparently they have their own Winston, not to be confused with fourfour’s Winston who just joined Twitter this week and has almost as many followers as us. It’s hard out there for a dino.

03/05/2010

Fake meats and smug vegans, elephant geniuses, killer snakes, your very own puppies AND MORE in today’s link-o-rama!  »


Pugs becoming men, men becoming wolves: Werepug Bar Mitzvah!

They are few, but crucial: Your vegan events!
Fun times at the San Francisco Public Library! On Saturday, Mar. 6 from 2 to 3 p.m. at the Noe Valley branch (451 Jersey St. at Castro Street) Maya Donelson will host a workshop on rooftop gardening. And on Tuesday, Mar. 9 from 6:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Bernal Heights branch (500 Cortland Ave. at Moultrie Street), you can learn all about urban composting. Both events are free and open to the public.

On Thursday, Mar. 11 Blood and Sunshine will release their latest E.P., Change Is in the Weather, at 9 p.m. at Thee Parkside in San Francisco. Why should you care? First, because half the band, Joseph Macrino, is vegan and loves your Vegansaurus. Second, because he and James Brennan (the other half of the band, no doy), have decided to plant a tree for every 200 miles they travel on tour. See how much they love the environment? A LOT, is how much. The show costs $6, which in this economy is basically nothing, so go already!

Next Saturday, Mar. 13 from noon to 2 p.m. the PETA Pack—which includes Friend of Vegansaurus’ Cinnaholic—is having a bake sale in front of the PETA Oakland office, at 538 Grand Ave. The proceeds will benefit PETA’s Investigations and Rescue fund.

Also on Saturday, Mar. 13 is the next meeting of the Bay Area Vegetarians book club! The book is Slaughterhouse by Gail Eisnitz; be at Vegi Food at 2085 Vine St. (at Henry Street) in Berkeley at 1 p.m. to discuss it. RSVP here.

Farm Sanctuary’s California Country Hoe Down is coming! Friend of Vegansaurus’ Melisser (of Sugar Beat Sweets) went in 2008 and had a great time, and photos from 2009 look pretty great as well. Tickets are on sale for the May 1 through 2 event right now, and I hear they go fast, so if you’re interested you should probably buy them soon.

Help the great state of Indiana end live bait dog training by sending an email to Natural Resources Commission and Governor Mitch Daniels. This practice is seriously vile: people throw a wild-caught coyote or fox into a pen with a pack of dogs to “train” the dogs for hunting.

It is lengthy, and debatably important: Your vegan weekend reading!
Well fuck, salmonella’s been found in MORE FOOD. This time it’s in hydrolyzed vegetable protein that was made in a Basic Food Flavors plant in Las Vegas (Woo!). I guess HVP is a food, however much it dyslexically looks like HPV? Anyway, the products being recalled include some from Follow Your Heart, so be safe and check your packaging, OK?

Problem: we’re all Fat and awful. Solution: extrapolate results from experiments on fruit flies, because science!

But Michael Markarian, president of the Humane Society Legislative Fund, believes in a “pathway to end animal testing” and needs your help making this a priority for lawmakers.

If food is religion, then vegans are obviously terrible, self-righteous proselytizing zealots. "It’s just food," after all.

WHO WANTS A PUPPY? Uh, me! AND YOU! Get over to the East Bay SPCA, they have pit bull puppies right now! [thanks, Brittney of Eye on Blogs!]

Vice interviews the Rosaire family, who run a circus-cum-exotic-animal-sanctuary. Vice would like you to know that this issue is not as simple as “circuses are bad, free the animals,” you small-minded PETA assholes.

Meanwhile, elephants are proving themselves even smarter than anyone thought, most recently at math. Probably elephants have greater math skills than me, because they weren’t societally conditioned to hate and fear it.

According to a survey by Canadian bacon company, 43 percent of respondents would rather eat bacon than have sex. Ugh, that’s cool ‘cause I’d rather not have sex with you bacon-crazed grossies. Arguably, this is a reason against moving to Canada.

Shamu is too depressed over Tilikum killing that lady to Tweet anymore.

You’re kidding—poop from all the animals crammed into “megafarms” is a major pollutant? It’s causing huge environmental problems? And agricultural interests are fighting every effort to regulate the disposal of all this poop? I AM SO SHOCKED RIGHT NOW.

Continuing the fucked-up news, the Grayson County Humane Society/SPCA shelter in Leitchfield, Ken., was broken into last week. The perpetrator(s) “brought a very cat-aggressive dog into the office, beat her severely, and then released two cats from their cages.” the perpetrator(s) took money from the shelter and left; the dog killed the cats. Here is further information about the crimes and donating to the organization.

Hey everybody! Starting today, it’s open season on wild Burmese pythons in Florida for the next six weeks! If you have a Florida hunting license, you can chop a snake’s head off with a big knife! It’s totally cool, though, because thanks to irresponsible snake-buyers, Hurrican Andrew, and participants in Florida’s “active exotic animal trade,” plus the pythons’ crazy-high fertility, there are snakes EVERYWHERE, ruining Florida’s natural ecosystem and begging to be murdered. Anyway, they are naturally vicious—one time a family pet got out of its cage and strangled a toddler! KILL ‘EM ALL BANG BANG BANG.

Never mind Florida, actually, let’s go to Argentina! Buenos Aires is now bursting with veg restaurants, and it sounds (and looks!) goddamn amazing.

Less fancy but still reportedly delicious is Chipotle’s Garden Blend burrito. Holy shit they charge $3 for guacamole at this Chipotle in New York, I am SO SORRY you guys.

Thanks to officials in the Obama cabinet, the U.S. government supports the international ban on Atlantic bluefin tuna. Sorry, sashimi-crazies. May I suggest learning to enjoy vegan sushi? It is delicious and environmentally friendly!

Smokey and Petra, two lops, make Oscar predictions!

Cow philosophy: thought-provoking, or obnoxious wanking? Really, you tell me; I can’t decide whether it’s an interesting way to make point, or if I just want to slap the dude because the answer is so obvious, even asking is angering. UGH.

Poor old Knut: first he’s the tiny star of screen and song; then he’s reviled as “anti-social” and “dangerous;” now the Berlin Zoo is trying to mate him with his first cousin, which PETA Germany advises against because of the extra risk of their offspring inheriting genetic abnormalities. Just neuter him, and it’ll be all right, they say! But: “The castration of Knut would cause dismay among his fans around the world and would reduce his market value.” I think the first problem here is referring to the procedure as “castration,” but what do I know, I’m a lady.

A fox-hunt-supporter got too close to a “gyrocopter,” the blades of which vertically split his head in two. The world has lost another hero, you guys.

Jonathan Kauffman likes Enjoy Vegetarian more than I do, but not nearly as much as Laura does. But that bitch likes everything and I am always in a bad mood/have indigestion, so can you really trust either one of us? (hint: probably not)

Emily Stokes is the most put-upon reporter on the Financial Times staff: she had to eat at a vegan restaurant with Jonathan Safran Foer, where the food was awful and JSF was smug, telling her about how he wouldn’t even use his own fork to move the meat off his plate when it was served to him in a Ukranian restaurant 10 years ago. I feel like this opportunity might’ve been better appreciated by Mark Rowlands, who seems like less of a sourpuss. Bourdain, of course, is the same old big-talking doucheface he’s always been.

JSF “shuns” fake meat (including seitan, which, what?); Anneli Rufus think it’s “like having sex with a blow-up doll.” PLEASE PLEASE tell me what you think, I AM DYING TO KNOW. For reals, let’s discuss.

Call us names/ask us out: this week we criticized the trope of the Vegan Boy, and got all huffy about rabbit-killing (again).

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