Did you know January is a total DEATH MONTH? For real, we’re all GOING TO DIE! »
Or at least we will if we live in Arkansas or Florida, or Kentucky or Louisiana or Maryland or Texas, or Australia or Brazil or England or New Zealand—it’s flooding poisonous snakes and crocodiles in Australia, and everywhere else animals are falling from the sky or washing ashore dead as doornails. There’s a “hilarious” Taiwanese animation about it, but by “hilarious” I mean “kind of horrifying,” so please click the above link to watch it, should you feel any desire to. I don’t!
I’m not saying it’s “end times”—Vegansaurus is saving that joke for 2012, obviously. It may however be a DEATH MONTH, in which loads of air and sea creatures die and other animals attempt to kill us people, for reasons we can’t fathom, because we are not smart enough. Also we’re too scared, which is on the other hand totally easy to understand, as this is terrifying! Maybe it’s nature’s judgment for our having been awful monsters for so long, although that doesn’t explain why a bunch of innocent animals have to die for us to learn not to be such jerks.
Probably all these horrors are directly related to our ruining our environment. You know, I bet it’s plastics’ fault. We need to reduce our plastics consumption, you guys! Hey, maybe start by attending that Etsy event at Craft Bar tonight! Since plastic is utterly unavoidable, though, let’s try investing in bioplastic! The planet is obviously trying to expunge us, for crimes against existence; let’s try to do a little to mitigate our horrible selfishness, before the 100 tons of dead fish washing ashore become 100 tons of LIVING fish washing ashore, ones that have mutated into flesh-eating, air-breathing monsters who use their fins to fly out of the waves to kill us all in as painful a manner as possible.
Fish and birds are kinda scary, right? But better the air and the water full of scary potential people-destroyers than totally empty except for our own toxic waste. HA HA we’re all going to die!