vegansaurus!

06/14/2012

Meet the love of your life on Saturday at the Walk of Love Scavenger Hunt for vegan singles!  »

Are you lonely? Are you single? Do you enjoy doing stuff during the daylight hours? Guess what! There’s a vegan singles scavenger hunt in San Francisco on Saturday! You have to go and then tell me everything, because I will be at work, swimming in pools of vegan buttercream, trying not to die of a diabetic coma (frosting is soooo good).


The Walk of Love Scavenger Hunt is presented by Karine Brighten, takes place on Saturday, June 16, in San Francisco. It runs from 1 to 3 p.m. and costs about $16.52 per person. Buy your tickets here!

It’s like Hunger Games for singles right? Except not at all? (I just imagine the adults who went to see Hunger Games also like scavenger hunts.) You’ll meet another vegan who likes sci-fi, group activities, talking to strangers, and playing Apples to Apples during parties! I prefer to show off my interpretive dances to pop songs at parties, but maybe that’s why I’m so very single all of the time.

Go ahead. Go meet your soulmate on Saturday, but make sure to invite me to the wedding as thanks for filling you in about this event! It’s like I so often say, “Always a wedding guest, never even a bridesmaid!” Let me tell you, this is a shame; I look amazing in bridesmaid dresses!

04/26/2011

Steve Wynn is all, “IN YOUR FACE, KATE MIDDLETON!”  »

Steve Wynn, American vegan gazillionbilliontribillion$$$$$aire and some woman 1/8th of his age are getting married the same weekend as Prince William and Kate Middleton. Here’s the joker Wynn and his terrified lucky bride-to-be!

I like to imagine Kate Middleton and Steve Wynn as Anne Hathaway and what’s-her-name—Goldie Hawn’s more unfortunate looking daughter? WHAT IS HER NAME? She’s in that awful movie that I’ve watched like nine times (I hate myself), Bride Wars. Middleton and Wynn grew up best friends, both dreaming of their wedding days (just like a woman!) and now, they’re 23 and 72 (respectively) and wedding dress shopping together and looking at china patterns and whatever rich people do before they get married AND THEN, they head to the Plaza to book it for their big days, and it’s only available one day and so they have to sabotage each other and duke it out to see which wedding REIGNS SUPREME. I think that’s basically what’s going on here, I mean Middleton obviously did something to Wynn’s face for him to look like that, right? OMG LAURA YOU ARE SO MEAN AND NO GREAT BEAUTY YOURSELF! Actually, you’re wrong, I am very attractive. HA!

Anyway, if I have to choose which wedding I’m going to, it’s totally Wynn’s because you know that menu is gonna be all vegan. Ecorazzi thinks Tal Ronnen is the chef so it’ll likely just be massive platters of Gardein stuffed with Gardein. I’ll take it!

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