vegansaurus!
05/04/2011
Giant squids are being killed by ocean noise pollution. NOT COOL »
This is so unacceptable. First of all, don’t fuck with giant squids because they will cut you. WITH THEIR AWESOMENESS. If you’re not convinced of this fact, I have a list of ways in which the giant squid rules all:
- They can measure up to 60 feet long
- They have eight arms
- Their eyes are the size of beach balls
- They’re so enormous, that sometimes they eat whales as a snack! (please see accurate dramatic representation below)
- They can change colors! What! I thought only hyper color t-shirts could do that! Also, Mom, I’m still waiting for one of those! It’s not too late for me to be one of the cool kids
- Female giant squids are bigger than male giant squids and still, they work it. Go ‘head, ladies
Annnnnnnd case closed.
Because giant squids are so wily and elusive (good job, giant squids!), humans haven’t figured out how to kill and eat them just yet. However, when humans can’t destroy ocean animals by ripping them out of the water, we just murder them via sonic waves. We are so amazing at killing everything! In related and also unrelated news, I’m gonna throw myself off a bridge later today. I kid, I’m not ready to end it all, I must stay around to torture you all via exclamation marks and CAPS LOCK!!
To cheer us all up somewhat, I leave you with this Brandon Bird original, Bad Day on the High Sea:
Bad day, indeed.
∞ posted at 13:53 by laurahooperb 
04/22/2011
“The friendliest whales in the world” from the Telegraph. Apparently these gray whales will like come right up to your boat to check you out and get pets! They even got a dude kissing them! God, whales are so awesome. This whale doesn’t look that big in this picture but check out this one; he’s huge!
I can’t believe whaling exists. People are the worst.
∞ posted at 07:37 by youtalkfunny 
04/04/2011
Sea Shepherd Captain Paul Watson—he’s so totally the man. My favorite part: “We’re just insane.” Because people are TOTALLY INSANE. Except me. I’m like Princess Sane-a-lot. It’s exhausting.
∞ posted at 16:50 by youtalkfunny
02/18/2011
Japan suspends whale-hunting, Colbert weighs in! »
That’s right! The awesome powers of Sea Shepherd have totally freaked out the Japanese government and they have suspended this year’s whale hunt. Goddamn that’s awesome! See? Sometimes super great things happen! The suspension is only temporary but still, it rules.
Here’s the Colbert clip (plus some):
[Can’t see the video? Watch it on Vegansaurus.com!]
OMJesus I’m so excited! I love the whales! I love Sea Shepherd! Let’s celebrate! I feel like we need some Sea Shepherd fan-art. Anybody?!
∞ posted at 14:26 by youtalkfunny
06/25/2010
I’m totally jazzed about this video of David Rothenberg and crew jamming to the smooth sounds of humpback whale songs (that was my radio disk jockey impersonation! Genius idea: I could be a radio disk jockey for Halloween! That way I could stay home and send a radio to the costume party in my place)! There’s an interesting interview with Rothenberg, a professor who “explores the world of interspecies music,” over on the New York Times’ Dot Earth blog. When I say interesting, I mean it was short enough so even I could finish it. They talk about the different issues surrounding whaling. Rothenberg stays pretty lame diplomatic on the subject. He makes some good points about the need to navigate cultural differences in the matter.
There was one statement that sounded particularly odd to me: “No one NEEDS to eat [whale meat], but it is possible to eat such things and also love them and want to save them. That’s part of the paradox of being a human being.” Is that really possible? It sounds less possible and more ridiculous than an alligator barbershop quartet. I’m not trying to take a hard line on this but loving something and eating it? That’s kind of a totally perverse idea and it just makes me think of cannibals and zombies.
∞ posted at 13:17 by youtalkfunny
06/18/2010
This week certainly has been trying; thank goodness it’s time for the link-o-rama! »
This is Wilson, a bunny from Harvest Home Sanctuary. He could be your best new bunny pal, if you are in Berkeley tomorrow! HE HAS HIS OWN BUNNY TO CUDDLE!! Wilson is a meta-bunny! Read about where and when to find him below.
Event-y things!
Your Vegansaurus loves bunnies; what about you? This week, the SFPD confiscated 23 bunnies from a pet store—it’s illegal to sell them in the city—and you can adopt them from Animal Care and Control starting tomorrow, Saturday June 19, at noon. Harvest Home Sanctuary is also holding a rabbit-adoption event in the East Bay, in conjunction with the House Rabbit Society, on Saturday! You can meet rabbits at Berkeley’s 4th Street Shopping District, at 1824 4th St., from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.
News-ish items!
What the FUCK: Miami is building a new stadium for the Florida Marlins, which will include two saltwater aquariums as part of the walls around home plate. “To safeguard it from impact, Lexan—the material used for bulletproof windows—will be installed in front and in back of the acrylic panels.” I’m sure that the animals living in those aquariums will totally appreciate the thickness of the material, seeing as how it has to be designed to withstand fucking BASEBALLS BEING THROWN AT IT.
On the sea creatures tip, let’s talk about whales. Japan, what is your goddamn problem? Some groups are hardcore protesting showings of The Cove, while you’re bribing the fuck out of members of the International Whaling Commission?! Just disgusting. Apparently 95 percent of people in Japan have never eaten whale—just drop it already. EVERYONE JUST FUCKING DROP IT. Norway and Iceland, you too. Maybe Pierce Brosnan will convince you? Maybe.
Egg production is supremely fucked up; for one, “egg production” is a tidy euphemism for “forcing hens to lay eggs.” Even “free-range” is a lie: the Humane Society filed a complaint against Rose Acre Farms this week because the conditions the company’s chickens live in are fucking horrific, certainly not the “humane and happy environment” full of “happy” chickens Rose Acre is selling people.
Look, they grow vegetables at the North Pole! Yes, even iceberg lettuce (not that that’s funny, per se). Here are some tips on storing your lettuce so as to keep it fresh and crispy as long as possible. Oh and try not to feed anyone juice boxes or fruit cocktails, as even the “organic” ones are full of lead.
Matt Baume “meets the city’s most unlikey pets” in the Bold Italic; the founder of Slow Food USA wants to integrate slaughterhouses, by way of mobile units, into cities. That’s what I want on my streets—the sounds of mass-murder! Definitely the solution is more, smaller slaughterhouses in urban areas. Alternatively, we could do like U.S. Designer of the Year John Bartlett and stop participating in terrible systems of death.
Terrible system of the week: wildlife photography. It is mainly a lie; the animals are bred in captivity, rented out for pictures, and often sold on the exotic-animal black market. The feature in Audubon magazine on these horrific, depressing, disgusting practices is shocking. And gross. You absolutely must read it.
OK right, everything continues to be really awful, and I’m sorry about that. Science says that good things happen to people who do good things, though, so keep on doing your part for the animals. Be as cynical as you like; the key is not losing your empathy (I think).
∞ posted at 13:54 by time-for-naps 
06/07/2010
What’s up with Obama lifting the ban on commercial whaling? »
There hasn’t been enough in the news lately about marine life being killed by the excesses of civilization, so what the hell, let’s talk about whaling. Food Fight Grocery alerts us to a FOX News report (via UPI) that Obama is set to “break his campaign pledge to end the slaughter of whales” by negotiating a compromise to lift the ban on commercial whaling. The International Whaling Commission next meets on June 20, when they will take up the proposal for a vote.
FOX News is trying to score cheap political points, but for once, they’re not wrong on the facts. Environmental groups are angry, and there’s a lot to not like here. The International Fund for Animals, along with Greenpeace and HSUS, released an open letter [PDF] condemning the compromise and has been urging action to flood the White House with calls.
So what’s this all about, anyway? The compromise would allow Iceland, Japan and Norway, the three remaining nations that hunt whales, to hunt whales legally for commercial purposes. In exchange, the nations would have to cap whaling below their current numbers and agree to tighter monitoring and regulation, including new efforts to help with conservation of whales and other marine life.
Iceland, Japan and Norway are going to keep hunting whales no matter what, and the number of slaughtered whales has been rising every year. Reducing this number would count a win, and by bringing outlaws under the watchful eyes of regulators, the worst abuses can be stopped—at least, that’s the logic behind the compromise. Environmentalists and other detractors say that passing the compromise would legitimize whale hunting, and that the compromise offers no long-term target to end whaling entirely.
At stake may also be the very existence of the IWC. If members can’t agree on a compromise, all signs point to the collapse of the 63-year-old organization. That would mean no standards, no monitoring, and nowhere to report illegal whaling.
No matter where you stand or which evil you feel is the lesser one, it’s clear that consensus on whale hunting will never happen without reaching the people who demand whale meat (and maybe smacking them upside the head). We’ve already gone after New Zealand for supporting this compromise, and if it passes, we’ll be really unhappy. But if it doesn’t pass? For the whales, it might be even worse.
∞ posted at 15:58 by stevesimitzis 
03/09/2010
» "The Cove" crew goes undercover and busts Santa Monica sushi restaurant serving whale meat
No wonder killer whales have been getting testy. They know what’s up. The team behind Oscar-winning documentary The Cove brought in their undercover cameras to catch a high-end sushi restaurant in Santa Monica serving whale meat, and if there’s one, who knows how many others are doing it too. Someone give these vegans another Oscar. Or a fucking medal. Because this shit isn’t just outrageous, it’s illegal:
Last week, several federal agents, including one from the Border Patrol and one who speaks Japanese, joined their team. Once again, the chef and wait staff more than once identified the meat as whale, the affidavit said, and it may have been obtained from a Mercedes parked behind the restaurant.
Armed with a search warrant, federal officials on Friday went searching for evidence from the restaurant, including marine mammal parts as well as various records and documents. The possession or sale of marine mammals is a violation of the Marine Mammal Protection Act, and can lead to a year in prison and a fine of $20,000.
Buying illegal whale meat out of a trunk parked in a back alley? SKETCHY. Time to reevaluate your lives, fuckfaces. IN PRISON.
Whales are having a seriously bad month. Because now the National government in New Zealand wants to join Japan’s illegal death party and lift its own restrictions on whaling. Really New Zealand? What happened to you? After years of being a leader in the fight to end whale hunting, now you’re trotting out the same old excuses of “but we neeeeeeed to do this for scientific research”? Right. And if a few extra “research” whales just happen to fall off a truck on their way to Santa Monica, then, well, waste not, want not! It’s “eco-meat!”
[Correction: New Zealand wants to bring back commercial whaling, not just expand “research” whaling. So it’s EVEN WORSE.]
∞ posted at 13:16 by stevesimitzis
01/21/2010
» Japanese robotic seal will make sweet marine mammalian love to your grandmother!
Japan has a complex relationship with marine wildlife. While their most notable foray into marine “science,” the government-supported Institute of Cetacean Research, kills whales and then sells their meat(!), this little combo of seals plus science is super-adorable: a therapeutic robot in the form of a white, fuzzy baby seal designed to comfort the elderly. Don’t diss—if you were whacked out on painkillers and consumed by fear of death, you’d totally be distracted by a little robo seal, too.
This seal is catching on in facilities around the world, which is good news! Because 1) it reminds the entire world that Japan is a very funny country! And 2) it takes the place of real live comfort animals! While imagining kittens and puppies helping your grandma to relearn juggling after her massive stroke is cute and all, let’s face it: institutions like hospitals might not make the best homes for real animals. Besides medical leeches and maggots–-living in a hospital and eating humans must be heaven for those mofos!
If you want more Japanoroboseal, check out this commercial, which plays on the popularity of robotic seals among old folks. Apparently, robots + seals + grandmas is like a recognizable cultural touchstone nowadays.
(via the awesomely named Japan Probe)
And FINALLY, if you are STILL jonesing for more of that special blend of Japanese + marine life + cute, well then, you very well might be one of those creepy white dudes with an Asian fetish. If so, get off the internet and go get help! We do not want you here! If not, go check out the movie Ponyo, by director Japanese director Hayao Miyazaki, who brought you Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, and Howl’s Moving Castle. Ponyo follows the platonic (sort of?) love story between a Japanese boy and a sassy, adorable fish creature named Ponyo who washes up on shore one day. Ponyo digs this kid so much, she transforms into a girl his age so that she can chillax with him all human-like. If it sounds like the plot of The Little Mermaid, well, it kinda is, but shut up! This has awesome old-school animation, the most adorable fish creature you’ve ever seen, and cool stuff like ancient dinosaur fish!
12/02/2009
Fishy Business »
Somehow, pescatarians always seemed innocuous to me. Someone telling me “Oh, I’m a vegetarian, but I eat fish,” didn’t really bother me. I had this false sense that our terrestrial friends always got the worst of it, and then I saw this video.
Fishy Business is an amazing (and short, only 15 minutes) documentary on the horrible practice of drift-netting that, although banned internationally, is still practiced by at least 500 boats in the Mediterranean area. The one case that struck me especially was a drift net that caught a family of five endangered whales (something like 100 in existence??). Luckily they were saved, but seeing as 90 percent of all of the catch produced by the net is unwanted, a whole lot of dead marine life get tossed back into the ocean just so places like Delmonico’s can stay in business. No thanks.
∞ posted at 11:44 by tempehtation 
