vegansaurus!

01/04/2011

Mother Jones loves sustainability, except when there’s delicious, fancy food involved  »


Mother Jones
published an interview with Naomi Pomeroy, a former vegetarian who opened a restaurant in Portland called Beast that’s basically Meat Time in Meat Town at the Meat Day Parade. Pomeroy was vegetarian until, she says, she started cooking meat for “personal-chef clients” and was all, IF I COOK MEAT I HAVE TO TASTE IT DUH, so she got waaaaaay into “sustainable” meat and thought, Oh, snap! I better open a restaurant that serves only meat because that’s the way to teach everyone about sustainable dining: SLOW FOOD FOREVA!, and then, well, she did. She’s obviously not the brightest bulb, but there are thousands of dumb-ass slow-food chefs who think the way to feed the world is through reducing meat consumption—and when it comes to their own menus there’s not a veg item in sight. You see, they mean “reducing the meat consumption for everyone else.” Lead by example? That’s asinine!

It’s like the whole Michael Pollan elitism thing: these slow food dummies are so intent on showing the world that there’s “sustainable meat” (a whopping less-than-1 percent of it!) that they ignore the much larger, more important lesson: WE ALL NEED TO EAT LESS MEAT. Well, not us vegans, but you know, the rest of you fuckers. The constant message the world needs to hear from the Slow Food movement is EAT LESS MEAT. Then, if they want to get into where the meat that people “should” eat comes from, fine. Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. Global meat consumption has increased 500 percent since 1950 and people who care about sustainable dining should (one more time with feeling): EAT FEWER DEAD ANIMALS.

Anyway, none of that really bothered me because I’m used to silly shit like this in eco-hip media BUT THEN two editors of Mother Jones had to go and tweet about how vegans are UP IN ARMS about the article. Like WTF did you think, ladies?? You publish an article about a restaurant that’s all WOO DEAD ANIMALS WOO and of course you’re gonna get some people commenting who think eating animals is sad and awful. DEAL WITH IT. To tweet about it and point it out like, “OMG! Vegans have their panties in a bunch!” is just ridiculous. Can you imagine them antagonizing another group like this!? 

Who do the editors of Mother Jones think reads them? There is literally not one person on earth (who has heard of the magazine) who thinks it’s anything other than a hippie rag. Mother Jones, you are granola-eating, Birkenstock-wearing, liberal gaywads from planet 1970s Hippie Socialist and you need to just ACCEPT THAT. Vegans are your natural allies; why are you trying to alienate us? Stop trying to be Good (which is THE WORST) or one of those obnoxious faux eco-sites that tells people to save the world by buying more reusable bags! You’re brand isn’t hip, no matter how many times you try to convince me to call you “MoJo,” and it never will be. YOU ARE CALLED MOTHER JONES. I mean, I hear that and I think of a woman teaching her daughter to use a Diva Cup, YOU KNOW? And there’s nothing wrong with that! Now, go breast-feed your seven-year-old and leave us vegans be. Or, you know, write less hypocritically about animal-eating issues.

[Note: To provide contrast between this article’s accompanying gross-ass pictures of Noami Pomeroy holding dead pigs as as she walks through a field, this editorial is accompanied by pictures of a living piglet, and some vegan salad. Sow and piglet photo by grongar; beet-and-leek-salad photo by haraldwalker]

09/29/2010

Spotted at Whole Foods in Mill Valley: tarts from Candle 79! HELLO GORGEOUS! They apparently JUST got them and carry three flavors: chocolate mousse, chocolate peanut butter, and raspberry Linzer!Now, if only we could get some of that seitan chimichurri, I’d never have to leave the Bay Area again.Oh snap, they also sell burritos made with gardein here, too! What is this, L.A.??? Man, rich fools of Mill Valley prolly have no clue how good they have it! All feasting on tarts and Chick’n burritos and poo-pooing the rest of us because we are poor and we suck. That’s fair, make me mow your lawn tomorrow and carry your kids to school on my back BUT TONIGHT? Tonight, I feast on your food, wine, and women! Tonight, I live!!!’
UPDATE: Apparently these delightful east coast treats are at all SF Bay Area Whole Foods! If you don’t see them at yours, ASK FOR THEM! 

Spotted at Whole Foods in Mill Valley: tarts from Candle 79! HELLO GORGEOUS! They apparently JUST got them and carry three flavors: chocolate mousse, chocolate peanut butter, and raspberry Linzer!

Now, if only we could get some of that seitan chimichurri, I’d never have to leave the Bay Area again.

Oh snap, they also sell burritos made with gardein here, too! What is this, L.A.??? Man, rich fools of Mill Valley prolly have no clue how good they have it! All feasting on tarts and Chick’n burritos and poo-pooing the rest of us because we are poor and we suck. That’s fair, make me mow your lawn tomorrow and carry your kids to school on my back BUT TONIGHT? Tonight, I feast on your food, wine, and women! Tonight, I live!!!’

UPDATE: Apparently these delightful east coast treats are at all SF Bay Area Whole Foods! If you don’t see them at yours, ASK FOR THEM! 

page 1 of 1
Tumblr » powered Sid05 » templated