Feeding baby elephants to inmates? What kind of fuckery is this?  »

[Can’t see the video? Watch on]

I’m posting the video above to illustrate what complicated and emotional animals elephants are. The video is about a poor little baby elephant that lost its family and is totally depressed. Elephants have strong feelings of mourning and loss and as sad as this baby is, I imagine it’s got to be at least that traumatic for an adult elephant to lose a calf.

Why am I talking about this? Because there is a proposition in Zimbabwe to cull baby elephants and feed them to prisoners. The world is going crazy!

Wildlife conservationists are not into this plan. From the Zimbabwe Independent:

Johnny Rodrigues of the Zimbabwe Conservation Task Force slammed the proposal, arguing that the move would result in the extinction of elephants and in the long result in the “killing” of the tourism industry.

He said: “This is the most dangerous thing that they will be doing if approved. One of the biggest foreign currency earners in the country is tourism. How then can we steal from our own heritage? Why are we selling our future heritage down the drain? We should be looking after these intelligent animals so that they are not killed. Government should actually be putting in harsh laws to protect these animals.”

Rodrigues said despite claims by authorities that there were 100,000 elephants in the country, the number had gone down to less than 35,000.

I don’t know shit about the Zimbabwe prison system and it sounds like it is not a good situation (that seems to be a theme in prison systems) but really? Baby elephants? There has got to be an alternative. Some reports are saying the prisoners haven’t had meat in four years—I haven’t had meat in 11 and I’m just fine! But seriously, I don’t feel bad for them, not for lack of meat that is (I generally feel bad for prisoners because I’m always worried they were innocent. Hurricane, guys, HURRICANE). You don’t need meat to reach any nutritional requirements prisoners are lacking. I feel like this really comes from some idea that people have a god-given right to have meat, like it’s abusive to deny people meat. That whole concept is ridiculous. There’s a lot of abuse that goes on in prisons but making people eat vegetarian is not one of them. 

I don’t have a solution but come on, there has to be something else they can do! They could be trailblazers with some innovative sustainable farming set-up! Though according to the Independent, they don’t have enough money for prison uniforms so I don’t know if that’s feasible but it could be cool! And pay for itself in the long run! Maybe Amnesty International can step in or something! Just ANYTHING besides culling baby mother-loving elephants, please. For goodness’ sake.


GoDaddy CEO makes lame excuses for murdering elephant  »

Bob Parsons is a real piece of shit, and now he’s a fucking liar, too. It’s just SO repulsive that he’s trying to spin this elephant murdering thing into a food access issue:

Unbelievable. From my calculations, the absolute BARE BONES MINIMUM you can spend on an elephant murdering murder tour of murder in Zimbabwe is $21,000. Do you know how many fucking hungry people you can feed with $21,000?! To give a comparison, Food fo Life Global can feed over 100 meals for $100. That’s 2.1 million meals for the price of his elephant-killing safari. (UPDATE: My numbers were wrong, they can do 100 meals for $30, so it’s actually 69,930 meals. That’s still insanely more than one dead elephant can provide.) (UPDATE 2: I just heard from Paul Turner, the international director of Food for Life Global, he says meals average 15 cents, so really that’s about 140,000 meals!) And that’s a low estimate that doesn’t include his plane ticket, taxes, fees, whatever the fuck else these rich murdering pieces of shit pay to murder legally.

He’s also saying that he’s helping thin the elephant herd so that they don’t infringe on the resources of locals. OMG WHAT LOLZ. There are much more humane ways to do this, from contraception to electric fences. In fact, murdering elephants might have the exact opposite effect, as other ellies race to procreate.

Let’s face it, the easy solution to help your desperately poor country is to invite bloated westerners in to murder your animals. It’s one of the few resources Zimbabwe has and so it makes sense that they use it, however I’m curious how much of that money actually trickles down to the majority of its people. If there was a better way to make money off elephants in Zimbabwe, they might explore it. Kinda like how gorilla organizations are making it more valuable to keep gorillas alive than dead. But you know, who is going to pay $21,000 for an elephant safari if it means that you don’t get to kill one? Probably nobody. After all, there are always elephants in zoos and circuses! My favorite excuse for why westerners need to come in and murder the elephants to save Zimbabweans is from British surgeon, Benjamin Chang.  “The army could have done the cull themselves but they don’t have the right guns. You can’t use an automatic rifle, that would just be cruel,” he said. WHAT A GOOD GUY.

These excuses are so fucking low. I would almost have more respect for Parsons (lie) if he were just honest about what the fuck he’s doing. He wanted the high of hunting and murdering an innocent animal. Don’t make excuses, Bob. You’re just the average piece of American shit going through a mid-life crisis and since you have way too much money, you do whatever the fuck you want. Thems the facts.

We’ve switched our domain registrar, and suggest you do the same. Namecheap has a deal going where they donate money to Save the Elephants (coupon code “BYEBYEGD”). Also, A Small Orange has at least one veggie person on staff (yay!), and promises to never go kill an elephant and are donating 33 percent of your domain purchase to ellies (coupon code “weloveelephants”). Both offers are good through the end of the day today, so do it to it.

Peace out, GoDaddy.

page 1 of 1
Tumblr » powered Sid05 » templated