vegansaurus!

HOT DEAL ALERT!

The Whole Foods at 1765 California St. is having this sale on So Delicious Coconut Creamer!

Reasons to be excited about this:

1. The name does not lie, it really is so delicious;
2. It is 100 percent, coconut which is not going to make you skinny but it’s hella better for you than the thickeners and shit they put into other nondairy creamers;
3. Silk creamer is also good but soy will totally make your kids gay; and
4. It’s a total recession hack! At $2, it’s less than the price of that hand-dripped Four Barrel I know all you fools are drinking. Why don’t you get some grounds from your favorite prissy roastery (they sell the Ritual grounds at my local corner store and I have to admit, they make a tasty home cup) and multiply your weekly coffee budget into your bimonthly one? Except I don’t think the creamer will last two months. But who knows? I digress. Go get some! Get two (That’s the point of the sale)! Give one to someone you have a crush on for instant reciprocation!

Sale ends next Tuesday, Nov. 3. Isn’t there also an election that day?  Why yes there is! If you’re such an activist, you lazy hipster, why don’t you get to the polls and vote NO on the commercialization of public space and take some time to read about how Prop. 13 broke California?

Speaking of activism, I know we’re not supposed to be shopping at Whole Foods because their CEO is an asshole (oh and none of us can afford to anyway because it is fucking $1.99 for a potato–that is NOT recession-hacking) BUT they do carry a lot of the good stuff we like to put in our bodies, and the people who actually work there are usually really cool and just doing their jobs (you should try to date one of them sometime because they get a ton of free produce!!) AND we are trying to get the Northern California Whole Foods regional buyer to carry Basu’s Homestyle, the awesome Indian prepared foods they have in the Southern California and Nevada stores (celebrities woo!) so you can consider your trip to Whole Foods a recon mission if you stop at the customer service desk and ask why we still don’t have the delicious vindaloo of the stars.